Now I’m sure we’ve all heard this phrase before, like when an individual goes travelling or takes a year out before university. But what does it mean to “find yourself” and why at the age of 19 do I experience the pressure of this more than ever?
To me, by saying we want to “find ourselves” we create this negative connotation that in order to do this, we must have been lost in the first place. But that’s not true. That’s why I’m replacing it with my phrase of…”knowing yourself”.
I think the key to happiness is having knowledge of who you are as a person. Having this knowledge gives you the power to know how to fix yourself on a bad day, how to predict your own behaviour and how to improve relationships in your life. It’s also the key to being happy on your own. Being alone doesn’t mean loneliness when you can enjoy your own company.
I want you to really learn to “know yourself”, here’s how…
1). Behaviour – this involves knowing your behaviour and being able to predict how you’ll react in specific situations. Learn your patterns of behaviour and know how your mind works. When you already know how you’re going to react, you have time to prepare and you have time to control yourself. For example, I can often stop a panic attack before it’s even happened…because I know how I work.
2). Attitudes– How can you stand up for yourself when you don’t even know what you believe? Social media and the news have such a negative effect on the opinions we create and adapt to. So before anyone can change your beliefs, know what you believe in and stand up for what you think is right. Being true to yourself allows a healthier relationship with your inner self. Don’t confuse it… it creates an unstable balance.
3). Knowing what makes you happy- I often think people spend their whole life searching for happiness without even really knowing what they want. Before finding happiness in the things that make others happy….work out what makes you happy first. I discovered that, for me, happiness is in the tiniest things. A 10 minute yoga session, a good coffee or a hug from a loved one. My happy isn’t necessarily your happy. But you deserve to be happy everyday…..find what makes you happy and never live a day without your “happy things.”
4). Discovery– Imagine if there was something that would help you to find calm or happiness but you never tried finding it? What if you had a talent you never uncovered? DISCOVER. Try new things. Life is full of exciting little things and you don’t have to travel the world to find them. I found mediation, something which has changed my life. But it took an anxiety disorder for me to find it. Imagine if that never happened. Don’t let it take a bad place for you to discover what makes you happy. You deserve happiness TODAY, RIGHT NOW! So get discovering.
Don’t always assume that the happy place you’re in now is your limit. What if you can be even happier and calmer? Never stop discovering your abilities!
Living in such a fast paced modern day world we get caught up in the socially constructed life we are meant to lead that we forget what we actually want from life. When someone new asks you about yourself what do you tell them? Do you tell them about your job and where you’ve travelled or do you tell them what makes you happy and what goals you have in mind? Think about that next time.
You don’t have to ‘find yourself’ but you owe it to you to ‘know yourself’. When you know who you really are…it’s liberating.
Thanks for reading, have a great week guys, stay safe and start discovering!