What makes good well-being? 3 key steps

1). Having a purpose– This is something that as a world we are struggling with right now. For some, we can’t work, we can’t do our normal things and so we feel as if we have lost a purpose. But one thing I want you all to know is we all have a purpose on this earth, even when we think we don’t. Some peoples purpose is to be a famous footballer, whilst another’s is to be a charity worker in Africa. But what people forget is….what if your purpose in life is not having a purpose?

It’s okay to just lead a pretty normal life. You don’t need to be make an extravagant status to make a mark on the world. Every human has the same right to be here and the same right to lead a happy life.❤️

2). Reaching set goals– Again, it’s so hard right now to reach goals when we can’t really go anywhere. The most important thing about setting goals is 1). Not setting them too high and 2). Not setting too little. It’s all about balance. My anxieties in life only came about when I failed at reaching my self created “perfectionism”. But I’ve learnt that my goals are far higher than most people and that’s why I constantly feel like I’m failing.

Failure isn’t actually objective, it can’t be measured, it’s just something we create ourselves. Some of my greatest failures, are to others, a greatest achievement. BUT, it’s also important to keep goals there. Without goals we become demotivated and lose our sense of purpose and growth. Keep your goals attainable, you can reach for the stars one step at a time. And don’t beat yourself up when you don’t meet your standards, life is all about trial and error.🔑🙌🏻

3). Reaching your potential in life- When we feel we are working as hard as we can and using our talents to succeed in life, we feel good. But for some people it’s not a case of that, they feel like they don’t have any talents or potential to really grow. This isn’t true. Every single person on this earth has a talent, whether you know it or not, you have one. Some peoples are just more extreme than others. But no talent is better than another. Being a world champion at 100m is just as important as being a good listener. ❤️

If you don’t think you have a talent, it’s probably because you’re unaware of it’s power. It’s like when you fall in love with someone and all of the imperfections and things you’ve hated about yourself your whole life, are things that person loves about you. Don’t hide away your imperfections because to someone else they are your perfections, and one day those “bad bits” might be the ones that make you shine.🌟

It’s short and sweet this week, but I really love this blog. I’m taking some time to really reflect on myself and my life this week. Sometimes we get so caught up in life that we forget to really take a step back and remember who we are. I haven’t been giving enough time to myself lately and I started to lose battles in my head. If you ever get like this, please know it’s okay to take a step back. Switch off your phone, spend some time relaxing and remember how amazing you are❤️

Thanks for reading guys, I’ll be back soon🙌🏻🥰

“I can’t do this anymore”

To the one who is crying on the floor, sat next to the radiator. I’ve been there. When life gets too much and you don’t think you can carry on…you know what I mean. This ones for you.

1). Nothing has changed

I know you don’t believe in yourself, you’ve lost your confidence and you don’t think you’re capable of anything. But that’s not true. The thing that I’ve learned over the years is, when you think you’ve turned fat or your partner is going off you, you think you’re not as pretty as usual or you think someone is being funny with you. The only thing that has changed is your mindset.

Everyone loves you, you are more beautiful than ever, you are glowing and you are just as talented as you always were. Our mind just likes to tell us these things have changed, but they haven’t. Please remember that❤️

2). Every time I was about to give up, things got better

Giving up is the easiest option, trust me I know. It’s easier to give in, cry in a corner and wait for the pain to pass. But life doesn’t work like that. Recovering from any kind of mental disorder is tiring, hard, terrifying and completely DRAINING! But every time I have fought that little bit harder, I have overcome my battles. Right now it doesn’t feel like anything is getting better, but don’t worry. It takes time. If it was easy to overcome a disorder then counsellors would be out of a job and I wouldn’t be sat writing for you today. My battles have made me who I am today and I am proud of my battle scars.🗡

3). Some of the most amazing people in the world have been through the worst battles- It’s true. The bad days make you who you are. And I know you’re tired and I know you can’t take another day. But please for me, get up tomorrow and try again. Every bad day is closer to the good ones. Stand strong in the rain…the sun is worth waiting for🥰

4). Everyday is a fresh start- I know that today was bad for you but tomorrow is a new day. Try something new tomorrow, make tomorrow different to any other day you’ve had🙌🏻

5). Stop being so hard on yourself- Whatever has happened in your life and whatever decisions you have made, you are still amazing. Stop being so self critical, take a step back and fall in love with who you are. As humans we spend too long dwelling on the past and feeling guilty for our own emotions, but don’t. No one is perfect and you deserve to be loved❤️

6). Open your heart and let people in- I know you’ve been hurt in the past, and I know you can’t trust people. But open your heart…not everyone will break it. Stop fearing the worst, there are people who love you, and you don’t even know it. Let people in, tell them you’re sad, let people give you a hug. It’s okay to break down your walls. The more we put ourselves out there, the more vulnerable we feel…but vulnerability can be a beautiful thing. It’s better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all🌟

7). Things can only get better from here- If you feel like nothing can get worse, then it probably can’t. Sometimes hitting rock bottom is what helps us to find our feet. The only way is up now, all you can do is learn, grow, improve and evolve. This battle will make you stronger! I promise you🥰🙌🏻

8). You’re not alone- There are probably millions of people feeling the exact same way as you right now. Things are tough for the world at the minute but please know that you’re not alone. We are all on this crazy journey of life together, don’t struggle on your own❤️

9). Know that you have the power within you– We might get help from a therapist at one point in our lives but let me tell you this….therapists don’t cure you, they just guide you. The real answer to all of your problems, is within you. ONLY YOU have the power to fix yourself. Believe in yourself. Trust me, you’ve got this🥰

Please if you take anything away from this, take away the fact that you are amazing and powerful. You are strong enough to fight whatever battle you are facing and I believe in you. Keep going❤️

Thanks for reading guys🥰

A week without my phone…

Photo of Person Taking Picture Of Seashore

This blog was not planned or intended, but due to my bad luck with technology, this week I’ve been without a phone….and to be honest, it’s been bliss.

Now I’m not going to lie, as much as I’ve began to hate social media, my total screen time on my phone is quite high. So what am I even doing? We’re about to find out.🙌🏻

Here’s what I took from this week….

1). It’s just a habit. How many times a day do you pick up your phone for no reason? You have no intention or reason why you’re unlocking it for but you do it anyway. It’s a habit. I’ve had a phone for 10 years now, my brain is used to typing, searching, scrolling and unlocking, even if there’s nothing I’m looking for. When you take away a habit, you think you’ll miss it, but in reality, it’s not as bad as you think. I’ve been too busy this week to even think about it and to be honest, I’ve been more productive. I worked out, I’ve had about an extra 35 hours this week by not having my phone…CRAZY!

2). I could relax more. I don’t know about you but I find my phone so distracting at times. Whether I’m doing work, doing a workout, in the bath or trying to read…when I hear a notification, that’s it, my mind can be taken elsewhere. Who is it? What if they need me? What if it’s an important email? What if someone is mad at me? For someone with anxiety, my mind goes to the worst places sometimes and even when my phone is off, I feel like I’m missing something. BUT without the choice of even having a phone…I could relax.

3). You’ll make time for the people that matter❤️. It’s true. Although I was without a phone, I found a way to connect to those I really needed to, and that’s always the case. I picked up the house phone to have a conversation or I went on a walk instead. Social media is not always the way to connect with people and if you give up your phone for a week, it’s fine, you’ll find a way to talk to your loved ones.

4). We all need a week on our own. As harsh as it sounds, sometimes we just need a break from the world. Sometimes we get too caught up in making sure everyone else is okay, that we forget about ourselves. Forget about everyone else for a week and have some time to yourself. Leave people on delivered and leave them without a reply, if they really matter, they will understand, I assure you. Give yourself what you deserve.💜

5). Who cares what everyone else is doing- There’s many reasons why I am starting to hate social media, but one of the things is this creation of a “perfect life”. Social media is full of fakery and the more you fill your life with fake things, the less real your life gets. It makes me upset knowing how long a person will spend comparing their life, relationship, body or money to someone on Instagram. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others, the moment your life begins. I now spend less time on social media than ever before and I have got to say, I’m beginning to create a beautiful life, one which I look forward to waking up to everyday. The best moments in life are the ones off screen.🥰

Research has shown that social media has a negative affect on depression, loneliness and anxiety. In fact, it has been found that 45% of adults in the UK feel restless when they are unable to access their social media. We’re creating our own anxieties and obsessions, just think about that for a second…..

Here’s the article for anyone who wants to read further- Bashir, H., & Bhat, S. A. (2017). Effects of social media on mental health🌟: A review. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 4(3), 125-131.

Person Holding Gold Iphone 5s

6). The things you need for good wellbeing, don’t involve a phone– What encourages good wellbeing? Healthy food, exercise, self care, talking to people, being outside, having as little stress in your life as possible. None of the things that we need to keep mentally healthy, involve a screen. Next time you find yourself with your head in the screen for hours on end, get up, get out and step away. It’s amazing how much better you’ll feel.💗

So what have you got to lose? Who’s going to join me in the challenge, will you give up your phone for a week?📱

Thanks for reading guys. It wasn’t the blog I intended on this week but I feel like this week has been a week for learning lessons, and I wanted to share some of those with you. Hope everyone is doing okay, keep smiling, keep being you and keep your head held high!❤️

 Iphone 6 on Gray Textile

The year that changed us forever

I feel weird today, and at first I didn’t know why. I feel a bit drained, physically, mentally and emotionally and I didn’t understand why. But then I realised, we are one day away from surviving a year long pandemic. That’s something to be proud of! It’s been a tough one…but we’ve made it!❤️

So today, I thought I’d write a review of what I have learnt in this crazy, crazy year🥰

1). Allow yourself to feel everything- This is a lesson I will keep with me forever. We live such fast paced lives that we often ignore our emotions. After a breakup, a rubbish day or a negative experience, we might go on a night out and get drunk or do everything to distract ourselves from the way we feel. But eventually the feelings build up and manifest into something else. If you feel sad, allow it, if you feel happy, feel it, if you feel angry, be angry and if you want to cry, just cry. It’s one of the kindest things you can do for yourself.❤️

2). Accept your imperfections- In a way, I feel like I’ve been asleep til now. I thought I knew myself well. But it turns out the best way to really find out who you are, is to be locked in your four walls for months. There’s things I’ve had to accept about myself, things I don’t like. But I’ve worked on these things and I’m happy with my progress. You should never change who you are but you can change the decisons you make, how you react to things and how to speak to yourself and others.

I’ve sat with my thoughts, I’ve sat with my emotions and I have well and truly learnt who I am. I’m not perfect, but I can proudly say after a long time, I like who I am. Loving yourself is the key to true happiness.🔑💗

3). Look after yourself please!!!- I’ve always found it hard to sit and do nothing, I always feel guilty when I’m unproductive…but why should I? This year I have given more time to myself and my well-being than ever before and I feel amazing for it. We put our minds and bodies through so much, whether it’s late night shifts, extreme exercise, nights out, too much work or speaking negatively towards ourselves.

Life’s too short to be drained all the time, start meditating, exercising, have more pamper nights, drink more water and more importantly, start saying no. You don’t always have to say yes to everyone🥰

4). Humans need other humans– If this year has taught the world anything, it’s that, no money, items, or social media remotely compare to time with family, friends and loved ones. From now on, I will be holding everyone a little closer❤️

And…look out for one another. This world can be dark and selfish at times and there’s nothing worse than being alone. Loneliness has been one of the biggest killers this year. Talk to eachother and stay connected. Talking is something I always promote on this blog. No one should be alone and it’s okay not to be okay🌟

5). No mental disorder will ever stop me again- Just when things were really great for me, a pandemic came, and as predicted my anxiety thrived off this and new demons decided to manifest. I had a tough few months, working out what was going on and how I was going to deal with it. But to me another obstacle just means another challenge to overcome.

I can now say, I know my brain too well. I can predict my intrusive thoughts so well, and honestly I feel so mentally strong right now. Whatever you’ve been going through this year, it will get better. I don’t know about you, but after this year, I’m not letting anything stop my happiness🥰

6). Without fear, anxiety cannot thrive- For every anxious thought or feeling I have experienced this year, each one has been fuelled solely on fear. Fear of losing someone, fear of being humiliated, fear of who I am or a fear of the future. The only way I have fought demons this year is by removing fear from the equation.

‘So what if you lose everything?’ You will survive and you will get better. That’s the harsh reality of overcoming anxiety. Another big lesson this year is….only you have the true power to overcome your demons. Be confident, don’t pay attention to those negative voices, without your fear, they will not survive❤️

7). Your inner peace is your only peace- Without inner peace, there is no peace. Be your own anchor in a storm. Know that when there is peace within you, there is always a place to run to. Be at peace with who you are. Be your own safe place.🤍

8). Appreciate everything– It really is true, you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. From now on, I think the world will be a nicer place. I hope people are kinder, more friendly, more appreciative and less selfish. This year has shown that life is sacred and really can be taken away from us at the click of a finger. Hug more, smile more, say thank you more, say those three words more and appreciate the little things in life.🌳

Life’s too short…do everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more. I mean it💗

This year has been a journey for many people but we’ve survived it together!💜

Although it’s been a tough one, it’s one that has changed us forever. I’ve got to say, after a year of reflection and positive change, I am happy, content and positive for whatever next year brings. I am so grateful for everything in my life and I am so lucky to have remained healthy this year🙌🏻

Thanks to everyone who has supported my blogs this year, your support means everything to me. I’m so excited to bring you all new ideas next year, I really hope next year brings you all some amazing blessings.

Keep being you, keep shining and remember whatever happens, you have survived 2020. Here’s to positive vibes next year. Love to you all and HAPPY NEW YEAR🌟

ALSO, MY GIVEAWAY IS HERE-🥰

To be in with the chance of winning this little new year hamper, please make sure you are following me/ subscribed. Once you have done that please comment, “done” on this post.❤️

Good luck!🥰

My first year as a blogger🙌🏻💡🌟💓

Merry Christmas everyone! It’s 3 days till Christmas…how exciting❤️. To celebrate this festive period, I thought I’d review my first year as a blogger! Now technically, I started this blog in February/March time so it hasn’t been a full year yet, however, its nearly the end of the year so its perfect timing.

First of all I just want to thank every single person who has read a blog, liked a blog, followed my blog or even spoke to me about it. Your support means the world to me and without you guys, my plans for this blog wouldn’t be possible🥰. Since starting in March, my website has had almost, 2,500 views and has reached 20 countries across the world. I hope that with more views and more connections, I can expand my website further and open new doors and opportunities for not only me, but you guys too.

So what’s my experience been like?🌟

It’s been amazing! I have loved every second of it, writing, creating new ideas and sharing my stories with the world. It’s a great feeling to know these blogs really do work for some people, but its also great for me too. On some of my darkest days this year, opening up my laptop and writing for you guys has been so cathartic. It’s amazing how just sharing a story can open up so many conversations. I have never written a blog for sympathy, I do it to let people know….you are not alone. No story is the same but if someone can find relevance in my experiences, it can really bring some comfort.❤️

However, there was a period of time this year that I had a break away from my laptop. It felt like a dark time and I didn’t want to write about positivity when I didn’t feel it myself. That’s the thing with bloggers and vloggers, there is sometimes a pressure to write every week, film every week, be there for your subscribers. But this blog is all about wellbeing and I never intend to put this pressure on myself. No good writing is writing that has been forced. Leading onto another thing….

My blogs often take 10 minutes😮

It seems that when anything in life is spontaneous, a lightbulb moment or completely natural, its a better outcome than when its planned💡. The majority of my blogs are written during a workout, after a walk or in the bath. It is always just a small spark of inspiration that inspires me to write. In fact, one of my favourite blogs was previously a voice recording. I just walked round the house one morning preaching to my phone and next minute it was transcribed for you guys! That’s what I’ve learnt about life this year, don’t plan too much, don’t worry about the future, just roll with the here and now.☀️

So what advice would I give a first time blogger?

JUST DO IT! One of the lovely things about this blog, is that I’ve had a few messages off people who also now want to set up their own blog. And that’s means everything to me. You don’t need to be any kind of person, apart from yourself. My most popular blogs are ones which involve my own stories, humans like other humans. Just be yourself and everyone will love you. Be confident and show the world who you are. Also, It doesn’t matter if you only get one view (trust me I don’t always get many views)..do it for you, no one else.❤️

And finally. Don’t put any pressure on yourself, it’s supposed to be fun!😅🥰

So what are next years plans?

I plan on trying new things for you guys. Trying the latest “mental health trends”. Finding out what might work and what might not. I’m also planning on starting some collabs and expanding my website further. And also remember I will be doing a giveaway at the beginning of the new year!🙌🏻🥰

Thanks so much for everything this year, all of you. And thank you to my boyfriend who gave me the confidence to start this blog in the first place. You inspire me to be a better person everyday🥰

Have an amazing Christmas guys!🎄❤️

10 ways to get Christmassy in a pandemic🎄❤️

It’s Christmas! My favourite time of year! Honestly I’m obsessed with Christmas, I always have been and always will be. I’m lucky to have had some amazing Christmases in my life but this year is going to be a different one.

We’ve had a rough year as a world and I think we deserve to go out with a bang….so because it might be a little harder to get in the spirit this year, here’s my tips on how to get Christmassy in a pandemic…🙌🏻❤️

1). Write a list– I don’t know about you, but right now I have more time on my hands than ever before. Usually at Christmas time I’d be working, so this year I decided to make a list of all the Christmassy activities I wouldn’t usually have time to do. What festive things have you always wished you had time to do?

2). Watch your favourite Christmas movies- This always gets me in the spirit, whether it’s Home Alone, Elf, Love Actually or The Grinch. Get out the popcorn and have a Christmas movie day🥰

3). Make a gingerbread house– I always love the idea of this, just like in the movies, but I don’t usually have time. This year I spent a whole day making one from scratch…I had a few difficulties😂 but overall it was great!😅 Christmas baking always gets me in the Christmas spirit!🎄

4). Make your own Christmas decorations– You don’t have to be artsy to make decorations, they can be simple and easy. This year I have bought some plain wooden decorations and personalised them as gifts for family members. They’re simple and easy but look great! Homemade gifts are so much more thoughtful!🥰

OR- You can make them from scratch- (it’s so easy)-

Step 1- Use up your old cardboard boxes from deliveries.

Step 2- Draw out the shape of your decoration on the cardboard (I used one of my wooden heart decorations as a stencil).

Step 3- Use your new cut out shape as a stencil to draw the same shape on a piece of paper. Cut this out and glue on top of your cardboard shape, making sure they fit perfectly.

Step 4- Hole punch the top of the decoration and place a ribbon loop through it.

Step 5- Draw out whatever you’d like on the decoration- here’s some of mine below for some inspiration- (they’re not the best but I loved making them🥰)

5). Go to a garden centre- Garden centres are so Christmassy right now and so much safer with being outside! You can get some really cute gifts that you wouldn’t get elsewhere. It’s the best we can do seen as Christmas markets are a no go this year😪🎄❤️

6). Spend more time wrapping- Make your presents a masterpiece this year! Make a day out of it! Put on a Christmas film, grab yourself a hot chocolate and spend the day wrapping presents. Take your time, add some ribbon or make your own tags.🥰

Here are some of mine🥰

7). Go for a Christmas walk- I don’t know about you but when I was younger I use to love looking at all the Christmas lights In my area. You’re never too old for anything at Christmas! Go for a walk with a loved one in the evening and look at all the lights, it’s bound to get you in the spirit.😇

8). Christmas food and drink- Change up what you’re eating and drinking and make it festive! Treat yourself! Get your way though the starbucks Christmas drinks menu or get yourself some festive themed donuts.☕️🌟🎄🍩

9). Send out Christmas cards– Of all the years to send out Christmas cards, this year is the year. It’s been a tough year for everyone and a few nice works in a card can really make someone’s day🥰Make the effort for someone this year.

10). And finally…Chill out! This year has been hard on all us, don’t be stressing about Christmas shopping or what next year will bring. Just relax, look after yourself and remember to have fun! If you can’t have fun at Christmas then when can you? Buy yourself a Christmas present, eat that extra mince pie, spend time with those you love. Let’s make this Christmas one to remember…next year is going to be full of blessings for us all…I know it!🥰❤️

I hope you all enjoyed, MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL!❤️

And quickly…..Just a heads up, there will be a giveaway in the new year, so keep an eye out for announcements. Keep happy, keep merry and keep being you!🙌🏻❤️ God bless!

A happy, positive blog!☺️❤️

As much as I talk about my dark moments and bad days on this blog, I think it’s important to share with you how many good days I have too! I really do have a life I am so grateful for, one filled with love, laughter and support. So after a tough year, I thought I’d enlighten you all with some positivity…because although life can we rubbish at times…it really is a beautiful thing❤️

So here’s some affirmations to live by today and everyday!

1). You are good enough!- As humans we often focus on our flaws and I don’t know about you, but I am my own worst enemy! STOP. Allow yourself the love you deserve. Be kind to yourself, embrace your flaws and remember how incredibly wonderful you are❤️

2). You have survived everyday before now– Remember those days you didn’t think you’d survive. The bad days, the dark moments, the tough journies. You survived them all and you are a warrior. You are standing here today…stand strong and stand proud! Your scars tell a story🌟

3). Things will get better!- Whatever you’re going through right now, whatever demons you are battling with everyday…it will all get better. You will be free of these bad thoughts one day…I promise you. All bad days pass eventually. Keep going!🥰

4). The bad days are the ones that make us who we are- Remember that life is a journey and no journey is without it’s obstacles. The bravest and wiset people are the ones with stories to tell. Remember how far you’ve come🙌🏻

5). You are exactly where you need to be– The only way you’ll find true calmness and serenity is by living for the present moment. Stop worrying about the future or overthinking the past…where you are right now is exactly where you need to be.💗

6). Remember who the hell you are!- Theres so many reasons why we might lose ourselves from time to time. Sometimes we’re hard on ourselves, sometimes we give too much time to others, rather than ourselves and sometimes we just stray from our current path. But always remember who you are. Being you is the easiest thing you can do. People will love you just the way you are, perfections and imperfections!🌟

How to smash each day

We all have bad periods in our life and bad days from time to time but instead of getting caught in a cycle…plan your perfect day tomorrow!

If you’re feeling rubbish today, make sure tomorrow isn’t the same!

1). Get your favourite playlist on- Get up, remember what you’re grateful for and put some upbeat songs on! Start your day right.☺️

2). Change up your hair/makeup– Try a different style today, make yourself feeling amazing! Who said you can’t get glam on a Monday morning? Do it for you!🥰

3). Put on your favourite perfume/aftershave- When you smell great you feel great!

4). Do something for you today!- Be spontaneous, do something you love. Spend some money on yourself, do a workout or spend some time with a loved one🥰

I hope to whoever needed it…that you’re feeling a lot more positive. I know it can be hard to be positive when you’re going through something tough but tomorrow is a new day and I hope you feel a little more hopeful. I thought I’d end today’s blog with a few of my favourite quotes. It’s weird how a few cliche words can really bring on a light bulb moment.🥰💡

Thanks so much for reading guys, keep smiling, keep positive, keep happy and keep being you! Love and good wishes to you all🥰

Have a great week!💗

How can a single plant save your life?

It sounds extreme I know but for those who are struggling to get out of a dark place, I honestly think this could help you.🌳

So how can a plant help?

I’m not saying this will work for everyone but for the people who are struggling to even get out of bed in a morning, this ones for you🥰. Now, luckily, I don’t suffer with depression however, this year I have experienced periods of time where I feel low and In a dark head space. The one thing which always helps me on these days is getting out of bed and going out….this is step one.

1). Buying your plant will get you out of bed🥰-Once again, it may sound silly but for someone who is so low, to have a reason to get out of bed is vital. Get to the shops and pick your favourite plant…no matter how bad you feel❤️

2). Take your plant home- Now when you’re low, going home can be upsetting, it’s the place you sit and feel rubbish. So on your way home, get a coffee, get out the car and go for a walk, do some more shopping or go and knock on your best friends door. Make a day out of it!🥰Being out the house is the best medicine❣️

3). Find the perfect place for your plant and make sure it has a nice plant pot- Make a nice little place for your plant, brighten up the room you spend most time in. Admire it’s beauty!

4). You now have a reason to get up everyday– everyday, get up and water your plant. Get it out In the sunlight and do the same with yourself🥰Keep hydrated and get out in the morning sun!☀️

5). Day to day, watch your plant grow!- As your plant grows and blossoms…so will you🥰It’s metaphorical I know but each day you will get better and you will grow too!

6). Research how shown that nature increases our wellbeing– It’s true! Studies have shown how just being out in the nature and seeing green can increase our mental health.

Here is my little plant🥰It’s grown so much since I bought it…and so have I👇🏻

Your existence allows another existence to survive and grow. Without you, your plant wouldn’t be alive!

Just like those loved ones in your life. You may not think you are worthy right now…but without you the world would be different. Keep shining, keep smiling and keep growing!🌳 You can look back at your plant and see how far you’ve grown.

So what’s stopping you from buying a plant tomorrow?☀️❤️

Therapy and speaking out💆🏼‍♀️🗣

Hey guys, welcome back to another blog! Just before we get into this weeks topic, there’s something I wanted to mention….This month is men’s mental health awareness month, something which is so important to me.❤️

We all have a man in our lives that we love dearly and to think they may suffer alone is heartbreaking. Although the stigma surrounding mental health is being broken slowly, there’s still so much to work on when it comes to mens mental health and a lot of men still feel ashamed to open up.

This blog is all about removing the stigma around opening up and not being afraid to seek therapy. We still have a long way to go but eventually we will get there. To all you men, but also ladies, who are sitting in silence and too afraid to ask for help….this ones for you🥰

“I’m too scared for therapy”, “I don’t need therapy, my disorder isn’t bad enough” “I’m strong enough on my own”…..

Reasons to reach out for help if you need it❤️-

1). Speaking out is a strength and not a weakness– To speak out and admit you’re struggling is so brave. Sometimes we shy away and feel that our imperfections are a weakness…but they’re not….they make you YOU! By owning up to what you’re going through…you’re one step closer to happiness❣️

2). A problem shared is a problem halved- It’s so true! You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I’ve sat and worried about things and when I’ve told someone else the worry is instantly taken away. When someone says “I’ve had that too” you feel as if the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders. Sometimes we need the rational mind of another person to help us see sense🥰The more you speak, the more you realise you’re not alone in this fight. A little pep talk or a bit of advice can go a long way. You don’t even have to tell a loved one your problems…just ask for a bit of extra support. That’s all it takes❤️

3). If you had ongoing headaches you’d go to the doctors– Again, so true! We often see physical and mental health differently when really they’re the same and just as important as each-other. If things aren’t getting better and there’s help available, why would you ignore it? There’s always help available, don’t suffer if you don’t need to🥰

4). Be selfish- It’s important to remember that this journey of life is yours, no one else’s. People will have opinions and disagreements about your choices but you HAVE to do what’s best for you.❤️

5). Stereotypes- There’s a lot of stigma and stereotypes surrounding therapy. Tv can often portray therapy as a negative experience, and for some people it is, but this isn’t always true. Therapy can be tailored to your needs and for a lot of people can really save them. Remember that life’s too short and it’s always worth a try!And If you don’t like it, you don’t have to commit.🥰

Please remember, those who truly care about you will support you, no matter what. Don’t ever be afraid to speak out or ask for help. Why not start the conversation today?❣️

Thanks so much for reading guys. Keep talking, keep positive and keep checking on those special men in your life.🥰

My 8 year battle with OCD- raising awareness❤️

Of the few mental struggles I’ve dealt with in my past, OCD is by far the scariest and the hardest. Obsessive compulsive disorder is one of the most debilitating disorders out there and tries to take away every single thing that’s good in your life. I’ve briefly spoken in previous blogs about my battle but I’ve never really opened up about it’s true impact on my life, but with lockdown this year the rise in OCD cases has risen massively and I want to do everything in my power to help those suffering.

So what is OCD?

OCD is an anxiety disorder which creates either obsessive and intrusive thoughts or compulsions (e.g. actions, like touching a light switch 8 times). Imagine having to touch every light switch you see 8 times….it’s time consuming and hard to hide but the consequences of not doing this are much worse. If you fail to carry out these compulsions it causes great distress and in my case I thought if I didn’t, my family would die. Sounds stupid right? When you have OCD it feels as real as anything else. It’s so distressing that some suffers will commit suicide. This is why raising awareness is so important!❣️

The part that no one talks about

As well as compulsions, and in my opinion, the worst part of OCD is intrusive thoughts. These can be so unbelievably scary and will do anything and everything to take away everything good in your life. OCD will try to sabotage your relationships, job and self-esteem. They create false images and thoughts that are mentally distressing and cause physical reactions. They feel so real and make you feel as far away from yourself as possible.

The first time I ever experienced these thoughts was in lockdown and I had no idea what they were. Now I’m usually good at knowing what’s going on in my head, I have good control but this time….I was lost, scared and had no idea what to do.

Eventually I decided to do some research and what I found was exhilarating. In fact, even though I have suffered with OCD on and off for years, I never knew OCD was so complex. There are hundreds of types-

See the source image

If this blog reaches just one person who is suffering without even knowing, I will be forever grateful.❤️

So how do you combat OCD?

(This is not professional advice but based upon my own experience of recovery).

Once again, I didn’t seek therapy, I worked out every single way I could fight this on my own.

Here is my self help guide to overcoming your OCD-

1). Acceptance- Like everything, step one is always accepting what’s going on. It’s okay, you are not alone and you WILL get through this. Each individuals journey is different but each journey has an equal chance of ending in full recovery!

2). Don’t feel ashamed- Millions of people suffer with OCD, you are not crazy and it doesn’t make you a different person. You may have OCD but OCD doesn’t have to have you! Having a mental disorder does not define you.💖

3). Have absolutely no fear- I promise you, whatever you may think, these thoughts are in no way real! My analogy is that thoughts in OCD are like a seed. If you give a seed, water and sunlight, it will grow. Just like if we give intrusive thoughts attention, they will grow and keep growing until there’s a tree too big to cut down. They thrive off fear. Without your fear, these thoughts can’t thrive…. so cut the branches before they’ve even grown.🌳

4). Opposite actions- To me, this is the key for recovery, especially when it comes to compulsions. Whatever urge or thought you are facing, do the COMPLETE opposite. At first, this will be the hardest thing in the world. But day after day, it becomes easier and the fear becomes less and less before one day you realise…I didn’t touch the light switch and nobody died! Eventually you will let go of OCD…. and eventually it loses its power. You have to be strong but you’ve got this!

5). Speak to those close to you- It’s hard to understand how to support someone with OCD if you’ve never experienced it yourself. But ask your family to read up a little, you don’t have to tell them what you’re feeling or thinking but you can ask for support. My loved ones have saved me, more times than they know.

6). Give up the need for reassurance- To the one with intrusive thoughts who googles their intrusive thoughts every 5 minutes. Stop looking for reassurance ….the thoughts aren’t real and you don’t need to reassured. Stop watering the seed! I know they feel real, but they’re not.

7). “But this thought is definitely real!“- Recovery is a funny one, the more control you get back, the more the OCD tries to win. Your thoughts will get worse and more upsetting but keep going! You are a warrior!💪🏻

8). You deserve love and you are worthy- A lot of OCD comes down to the fear of losing everyone in you life. That won’t happen. Your family loves you, your friends love you and so does your partner. OCD makes you feel you are worthy of nothing. But this is how it wins by breaking down relationships with others and with yourself. Be confident, love yourself and to whoever is reading this, you are worthy of love and you deserve to be happy. The only way you will win this fight is by being louder and stronger than you doubts.

9). Get on that motivating playlist– You won’t believe how much a good playlist can lift your mood! Get on some Beyoncé and remember who you are!

10). Do a workout- As you all know, exercise is my saviour and has been all my life. For me, when fighting demons, certain sports are better than others. I find lifting weights or boxing a great way of releasing the frustration and upset that OCD creates. Sport is an outlet and releases happy hormones! Find what bet suits you.

11). It’s okay to get upset when it all gets too much- As much as being strong is key to recovery, it’s also important to let out this weird bundle of emotions. Have a cry if you need to or even go to a field and just scream! No emotion should be shut away. If you need more hugs than usual, that’s okay. Recovery is a roller-coaster of good and bad days. Don’t let the bad days deflate you too much.

12). And finally, talk to other sufferers- Those thoughts you think are crazy…I’ve probably had the same ones. There’s so many OCD forums that share people’s stories. Remember, you are never alone.

If you’ve read this far…THANK YOU so much. This blog means so much to me, its been hard to write but I want to help as many of you as possible. I’ve been through so many journeys in terms of my mental health but each one has made me who I am today and right now I feel stronger than ever before. I’m happy and just so grateful for the amazing life I have right now. I still have bad days but I don’t let my OCD control me anymore…..I promise you recovery is possible. Every battle I’ve faced has made me the woman I am today, I am strong, happy and I am so grateful for the amazing people I have in my life.🥰

Remember, the moments of struggle are the moments you remember most…they’re the ones that make you who you are. Be strong, keep going and remember how amazing you are. Together we will defeat disorders like this!

For professional advice and support please use the link below-

https://www.mind.org.uk/