My 8 year battle with OCD- raising awareness❤️

Of the few mental struggles I’ve dealt with in my past, OCD is by far the scariest and the hardest. Obsessive compulsive disorder is one of the most debilitating disorders out there and tries to take away every single thing that’s good in your life. I’ve briefly spoken in previous blogs about my battle but I’ve never really opened up about it’s true impact on my life, but with lockdown this year the rise in OCD cases has risen massively and I want to do everything in my power to help those suffering.

So what is OCD?

OCD is an anxiety disorder which creates either obsessive and intrusive thoughts or compulsions (e.g. actions, like touching a light switch 8 times). Imagine having to touch every light switch you see 8 times….it’s time consuming and hard to hide but the consequences of not doing this are much worse. If you fail to carry out these compulsions it causes great distress and in my case I thought if I didn’t, my family would die. Sounds stupid right? When you have OCD it feels as real as anything else. It’s so distressing that some suffers will commit suicide. This is why raising awareness is so important!❣️

The part that no one talks about

As well as compulsions, and in my opinion, the worst part of OCD is intrusive thoughts. These can be so unbelievably scary and will do anything and everything to take away everything good in your life. OCD will try to sabotage your relationships, job and self-esteem. They create false images and thoughts that are mentally distressing and cause physical reactions. They feel so real and make you feel as far away from yourself as possible.

The first time I ever experienced these thoughts was in lockdown and I had no idea what they were. Now I’m usually good at knowing what’s going on in my head, I have good control but this time….I was lost, scared and had no idea what to do.

Eventually I decided to do some research and what I found was exhilarating. In fact, even though I have suffered with OCD on and off for years, I never knew OCD was so complex. There are hundreds of types-

See the source image

If this blog reaches just one person who is suffering without even knowing, I will be forever grateful.❤️

So how do you combat OCD?

(This is not professional advice but based upon my own experience of recovery).

Once again, I didn’t seek therapy, I worked out every single way I could fight this on my own.

Here is my self help guide to overcoming your OCD-

1). Acceptance- Like everything, step one is always accepting what’s going on. It’s okay, you are not alone and you WILL get through this. Each individuals journey is different but each journey has an equal chance of ending in full recovery!

2). Don’t feel ashamed- Millions of people suffer with OCD, you are not crazy and it doesn’t make you a different person. You may have OCD but OCD doesn’t have to have you! Having a mental disorder does not define you.💖

3). Have absolutely no fear- I promise you, whatever you may think, these thoughts are in no way real! My analogy is that thoughts in OCD are like a seed. If you give a seed, water and sunlight, it will grow. Just like if we give intrusive thoughts attention, they will grow and keep growing until there’s a tree too big to cut down. They thrive off fear. Without your fear, these thoughts can’t thrive…. so cut the branches before they’ve even grown.🌳

4). Opposite actions- To me, this is the key for recovery, especially when it comes to compulsions. Whatever urge or thought you are facing, do the COMPLETE opposite. At first, this will be the hardest thing in the world. But day after day, it becomes easier and the fear becomes less and less before one day you realise…I didn’t touch the light switch and nobody died! Eventually you will let go of OCD…. and eventually it loses its power. You have to be strong but you’ve got this!

5). Speak to those close to you- It’s hard to understand how to support someone with OCD if you’ve never experienced it yourself. But ask your family to read up a little, you don’t have to tell them what you’re feeling or thinking but you can ask for support. My loved ones have saved me, more times than they know.

6). Give up the need for reassurance- To the one with intrusive thoughts who googles their intrusive thoughts every 5 minutes. Stop looking for reassurance ….the thoughts aren’t real and you don’t need to reassured. Stop watering the seed! I know they feel real, but they’re not.

7). “But this thought is definitely real!“- Recovery is a funny one, the more control you get back, the more the OCD tries to win. Your thoughts will get worse and more upsetting but keep going! You are a warrior!💪🏻

8). You deserve love and you are worthy- A lot of OCD comes down to the fear of losing everyone in you life. That won’t happen. Your family loves you, your friends love you and so does your partner. OCD makes you feel you are worthy of nothing. But this is how it wins by breaking down relationships with others and with yourself. Be confident, love yourself and to whoever is reading this, you are worthy of love and you deserve to be happy. The only way you will win this fight is by being louder and stronger than you doubts.

9). Get on that motivating playlist– You won’t believe how much a good playlist can lift your mood! Get on some Beyoncé and remember who you are!

10). Do a workout- As you all know, exercise is my saviour and has been all my life. For me, when fighting demons, certain sports are better than others. I find lifting weights or boxing a great way of releasing the frustration and upset that OCD creates. Sport is an outlet and releases happy hormones! Find what bet suits you.

11). It’s okay to get upset when it all gets too much- As much as being strong is key to recovery, it’s also important to let out this weird bundle of emotions. Have a cry if you need to or even go to a field and just scream! No emotion should be shut away. If you need more hugs than usual, that’s okay. Recovery is a roller-coaster of good and bad days. Don’t let the bad days deflate you too much.

12). And finally, talk to other sufferers- Those thoughts you think are crazy…I’ve probably had the same ones. There’s so many OCD forums that share people’s stories. Remember, you are never alone.

If you’ve read this far…THANK YOU so much. This blog means so much to me, its been hard to write but I want to help as many of you as possible. I’ve been through so many journeys in terms of my mental health but each one has made me who I am today and right now I feel stronger than ever before. I’m happy and just so grateful for the amazing life I have right now. I still have bad days but I don’t let my OCD control me anymore…..I promise you recovery is possible. Every battle I’ve faced has made me the woman I am today, I am strong, happy and I am so grateful for the amazing people I have in my life.🥰

Remember, the moments of struggle are the moments you remember most…they’re the ones that make you who you are. Be strong, keep going and remember how amazing you are. Together we will defeat disorders like this!

For professional advice and support please use the link below-

An update after a break from writing…💛

Hey all! I’ve been quiet recently…I think we all need breaks from things in life, even the things that make us happy. I haven’t felt like writing recently, so I haven’t. That’s my approach to life. What works for you today might be different to what works for you tomorrow.

Anyway…I hope you’re all well. I’m currently sat with a glass of wine and chocolate watching a film, something I really needed today. I feel like writing so here I am.

I’ve had a tough few weeks, finding it hard to adjust back to “normal” life and struggling to take control of my thoughts. But something changed last week and to be honest, it really is working for me.

So what has helped me to “take back control of bad thoughts?”💜

1). A mindfulness journal- I decided that in order to take back control again, I’d buy a notebook and start a fresh week with written down goals and plans. But I came across a mindfulness journal, something I’ve never used before. It was £2.50 and is honestly one of the best discoveries I’ve made.

Mindfulness is learning to be present in the moment and being aware of yourself and everything around you❤️

At the beginning of the journal you fill out 4 things-

What makes me happy?

-Goals I’d like to achieve this year

-What does success look like to me?

-New things I’d like to try

Then everyday, you fill out 4 reflections.

What worked for me today?

What didn’t work for me today?

A moments reflection

What can I try and improve on for tomorrow?

Yes, it’s only 4 questions and a few minutes, but it’s changed so much! It gives me 5 minutes everyday to notice what I’ve achieved in the day and gives me a goal for tomorrow. Everyday I started to notice I’d had less bad thoughts and had gained so much more control. A week on and I’m more in control than ever…just from 5 minutes reflection a day!🥰

Available at Wilkos❤️

What else did I realise?🤍

The thoughts we have in our mind are often our insecurities or in my case OCD, therefore they’re not real. We forget that the thoughts we have…we don’t actually have to listen to. Rather than thinking the thoughts are yours, listen, address them and either choose to listen or ignore them.

My new approach which is taught in CBT (therapy). A thought appears…listen….ask yourself, do I want to listen to this or will it cause me unnecessary anxiety and worry? Don’t listen. Move on. The majority of bad thoughts don’t mean a thing.🖤

Another realisation❣️

We could lose everything tomorrow, so don’t let your demons take it away today!

You deserve to be happy, don’t listen to your fears or bad thoughts. Enjoy your life today and don’t worry about tomorrow.💜

Thanks for reading, and if you’re ever having a bad day please read one of my previous blogs, whichever suits you. Keep smiling and keep happy. Keep your worrying at bay. Happy Sunday you lovely people!🥰

Realising my journey isn’t over

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I want to always be truthful with my readers but sometimes I have to be truthful to myself first and this week I had a realisation…I need to take a step back.

I like to tell myself I’m strong and in control of my anxiety disorders, which I am. But the truth is they haven’t left yet and my journey isn’t over just yet. Now I know I will most likely live with these disorders forever, but I’d like them to be as quiet and controlled as possible throughout my life. But recently I’ve let things slip. I’ve gone back to work, back to trying to keep the same routine as I did in lockdown, when in reality it’s impossible. I’ve been putting some huge pressure on myself and therefore my mental health hasn’t been as looked after as it should have been. I’ve slowly let bad habits creep in, put pressure on myself, not ate very much and generally felt rubbish as a result.

So what have I realised?

The less you look after your body and mind, the less it will look after you. I can’t do EVERYTHING.

So what’s my plan to get back on track?

A new routine- When things don’t change, things must change. Rather than a routine that means I get everything done, I need a routine that allows me to be happy, rested and mentally stable. We can’t always have everything all at once, life is about balance and it’s time to put more things in my routine that are for me. Sometimes we need to explore more, find new routines. Life’s too short to do the same things everyday.

Doing things I want rather than need to do– This is hard for me as I put so much pressure on myself, but I can’t be good at everything…no one is perfect. When you do things you want to do, the pressure is immediately taken away. Life should be more of doing what we want to do rather than what we think we need to do. So many of my workouts have been done because “I need to do it”. But they’re far less enjoyable than the workouts I wanted to do. Once again, life’s to short to not be doing what makes you happy. I was always told in therapy that the way to control you cognitions is to ask yourself before everything you do “do I want to do this today”. It’s amazing what a little question like that can do.

Give myself more credit- I’ve recently realised that since overcoming a lot of my anxieties, I’ve placed myself on a tall pedestal that when I have a bad day I beat myself up about it….forgetting how far I really have come in a year. Today and everyday from now on I will remember the battles I’ve faced and won. I really have come far.

Rest more– Not only do I need to rest more physically, I also need to rest more mentally. My mind is constantly busy and at the minute it seems to be even worse at night. I’m so aware of y dreams and this is always a sign. Even my subconscious is constantly busy. I need to find some mental calmness. For this, I need to mediate more and take back control (easier said than done when your brain feels like a busy airport).

Me time- I’ve really been lacking on this recently. I’ve not been taking as much self care as I should. I need more bubble baths, more rom coms and a whole lotta time to write. I’ve also decided I need a new challenge, a new project, something to take me out of my comfort zone. The second I leave my comfort zone, I seem to gain this confidence and I glow. I want to glow again.

And finally, I’m going to congratulate myself on working out that something’s wrong. People sometimes think I have great control and know how to deal with things in my head…but in reality I’m winging it a lot of the time. However, what I do know…is when something isn’t right and the thing is, I always find a way in the end. You will too!

Thanks for reading guys and please look after yourselves!

 Iphone 6 on Gray Textile

P.s. I would really appreciate it if my readers would subscribe, it means so much to me and means you’ll get a notification every time I post! Thank you in advance. Love to you all.


Out of all of my mental struggles, I am lucky enough to have never suffered from depression…but I know loved ones who have. It’s something that I wish I could blog about, but how can I when I have no clue what life with depression is really like?

The one thing I do know though is I think depression is still misunderstood in areas of society. It’s not just a ‘phase’, its not just a result of trauma and its not just a mental disorder…its a DISEASE. It draws those suffering away from family, friends, life and takes away all rational ways of thinking.

Depression is a pandemic in its own form, its scary, fast spreading and takes away the lives of too many suffering.

So what can we do as those who aren’t suffering but have loved ones who do?

1). Do your research– No one’s expecting you to be a psychologist but the first step to helping someone is to understand what the problem is. Do some research so you have just a little idea of what the person may be facing. This will help you as well as your loved one.🤗

2). Don’t change your personality- they don’t need a therapist at home, they need a sister, a mother, a friend, a boyfriend. Just be you…listen and be a shoulder to cry on.

3). Encourage talking- there’s a reason “talking” is encouraged so much when it comes to mental disorders…because it works. When was the last time someone said “Hi you alright?” Probably yesterday. But when was the last time someone said “So how are you, really?” Probably not as recent. All it takes is a 5 minute conversation to change someone’s day. Let them know you care.

4). Don’t stereotype– Like I’ve mentioned before, we often assume those who are loud and outgoing have it all together…it doesn’t mean they do. Depression strips away confidence and personality on the inside yet creates a mask on the outside to disguise this. Don’t be fooled, be there and listen.

5). Leave some things to the therapists– As much as we should help our loved ones with depression, we can’t fix it just us alone. Don’t try to diagnose, medicate or offer therapy. You don’t need to do all those things. We don’t want you suffering too! Don’t put pressure on yourself to be the professional.

6). Know the signs- It’s important to know the symptoms of depression in order to know how to help. The more aware we are of the symptoms, the quicker we can help those who are in the early stages. Don’t be afraid to raise the question if you have any concerns, you could be saving someone. Depression isn’t always easy to spot, those suffering are good at hiding it. Just be aware if their behaviour seems different.

I am also not a professional but I hope these steps give you some comfort in how to support your loves ones experiencing depression. Whatever you’re going through right now, I promise you things will get better, these battles will seem easier and you will BE stronger. If you or a loved one feels they need to seek professional help then don’t hesitate too, the ”Mind” website is always available for advice. Please know you are not alone.

Thanks so much for reading guys…keep happy, keep safe and keep looking after yourselves. See you all very soon!


Dealing with happiness

I’ve touched upon this before on my Instagram but really wanted to bring this alive in a blog. So what do I mean by dealing with happiness? Surely being happy is a good thing? Of course it is…but I think once we reach a place of happiness we are afraid of what to do with it.

This thought process all started with a day a few months back when my friend asked me “how are you doing?” My truthful answer was “I’m really good, in fact I’m really happy”, so why did I feel like lying, playing it down a bit? Why did I feel guilty for being happy?

Although advice on your wellbeing comes first, I don’t think we speak about the thoughts that often arise when we’re happy. There’s so many times when I’ve hidden my happiness because I know those around me are struggling, but in reality I should never have to lie or feel guilty about the current stage of my journey in life. We are all at different stages in our life, we’re all learning…don’t feel guilty for what you deserve. The right people will be happy for you too!

Not only do I sometimes feel guilty about being happy but I have this self destructive part of my mind that wants to think my way out of being happy, something that often comes with anxiety. “But what if this isn’t real?”, “Surely this is too good to be true?”, “Do you really deserve this?” “What if someone hurts you again?” This is something I know a lot of you will also experience. These bad thoughts like to remind us of the past times happiness was taken away from us.🧠

This is the ‘devil on your shoulder’, your anxieties, your past traumas, your insecurities. They like to think they are louder, stronger and more in control than you…but the truth is they’re only stronger if you allow them to be. One of my favourite quotes from Sarahbeth yoga is “the desire for a more positive experience creates a negative experience”. The more we overthink our happiness and long for more, the further we push ourselves away from it. Make sure you are louder than that voice of yours!

For weeks now I’ve been in a really good place, my mental disorders have been quietened and life is really good. Mental disorders take away so much from our lives that we think it will last forever or a bad day is just around the corner. But that isn’t the case you can be happy, I promise you. Mental disorders are a big part of my life but they don’t define it and they certainly won’t take away my happiness. It doesn’t mean a bad day is round the corner and it doesn’t mean it’s too good to be true. Happiness exists, enjoy it.

So what can you take away from this?

1). Enjoy the now- We lead such fast paced lives nowadays that we often forget to live in the moment. Enjoy the now and don’t overthink it, you’ll never get this moment again.

2). Be happy for yourself and for others– Be there for others and be aware of their emotions but DON’T compare your journey to theirs. If you’re happy don’t feel bad about it and if those around you are happy, be happy for them too. But don’t compare your journey to theirs.

3). Don’t feel guilty or overthink– you deserve to be happy! And if right now things seem tough, know that brighter days are coming for you!❤️

When we refer to the rollercoaster of life we are quite often referring to the lows. But what about the highs? These are what make life worth it. Enjoy your highs and learn from your lows.

Whatever happens, YOU deserve to be happy.

For now, I will enjoy this happiness of mine and continue to count every single blessing.❤️ Thank you to those who read every blog, I couldn’t do this without you!❣️

Entering my 20th year of life🥂

This week marks me leaving my teens and entering my 20’s and to be honest it’s been a big year for me, mentally, physically and emotionally. So I thought I’d give you an insight…..

It’s a only a year I know, but I feel like it’s been one of the most important of my life. I always thought I understood my mind and it’s abnormalities, I’ve always lived with OCD and anxiety and I thought I knew what my new demons were. It turns out I didn’t know as much as I thought.

I entered my 19th year happy and hopeful but with the presence of uncontrollable demons. As I discussed in my ‘eating disorder’ blog, I started my journey of self recovery this year and in September I seemed to have really left these demons behind (never give up). Then later in the month something happened…. leaving me alone, with no option but to pick myself off the ground and carry on. So I made the decision to make the next 6 months all about me. This began my journey of self discovery. My life changed.

There’s nothing like a knockback to bring you forward. I felt strong and ready to take on the world. Firstly I changed from driving everyday to using public transport. Why? Because instead of being stressed every morning sat in rush hour I had created 30 minutes at the start of my day to relax. Sometimes you have to let others take the driving seat (metaphorically and literally). I listened to music and started to listen to podcasts, positive ones that helped to start my day right. I would then walk 20 minutes from the train station, another 20 minutes for me. I started my day calm.

So what other changes did I make?

I discovered yoga and meditation. Two things which I now implement into my everyday life. We often think that once we wake up in a “bad mood”, the rest of the day will be bad, but this doesn’t have to be the case. With yoga and mediation you can choose what mindset you want to be in for the day, always start positively. You can change the mood you woke up in to determine the rest of your day. You owe it to yourself to have a great day!

Silhouette of Man at Daytime

I also deleted social media whilst getting back on my feet. It’s impossible to really focus on loving yourself whilst looking at filtered celebrities on Instagram. People will spend more time longing to look a certain way than they will learning to love their own body. Put your self love first. I never quite realised how little time I spent being kind to myself until I really started my journey to body confidence. I started to be kinder to myself and my mindset began to change.

I also stopped putting so much pressure on myself. If I wanted to jump in my car and have a shopping spree, I would. If I wanted to have a bubble bath with spa music and candles in the middle of the day, I would. I realised that in order to really look after myself, a stressful routine wasn’t going to work. I still got everything done and worked extremely hard but we all need time off and life’s too short to always be putting pressure on yourself.

White Textile Beside Lit Candle

I also went out more, spent more time with friends and booked events. As much as working hard is important, sometimes we just need to let go of life’s stresses and have a good time.

I also discovered that writing is my therapy and I will never stop. Writing has pulled me out of so many dark places and it’s something I never expected to share with anyone. But whilst on my journey this year I changed my Instagram to be more wellbeing related. It seemed to resonate with others and a tiny part of me believed it could go further. So with a dream of starting a blog, someone gave me the courage to go ahead and do it. And here I am now…. ‘Loveyourmyind’ has now had almost 900 visitors and I can’t thank my readers enough. I feel so lucky everyday.

A few days before my 20th birthday and I am at my fittest both mentally and physically. I am always training both my body and my mind and I feel amazing. I never allow bad thoughts to defeat me and I do things that scare me every single day. I have some amazing people in my life and I count those blessings every single day. In a year, I have learnt how to love my mind, my body and how to really enjoy life. Life is beautiful but we often forget to sit back and take it all in. Maybe it does take a bad situation for us to really try. But I’m telling you that a fresh start is available everyday. You can start your journey to happiness tomorrow, don’t wait, I believe in you.

This weekend I will be enjoying a big celebration of 20 amazing years on this earth. No one ever said that life was going to be easy but I like a challenge and I am so thankful for the life I am living. Don’t wait for a birthday to celebrate your life! Stay happy and humble…thank you for reading and making all my dreams come true!

Could this year be your year?❤️

People Toasting Wine Glasses


See the source image

What are these?– They are a package of ideas that we have about something or someone and often lead to assumptions.

To me, these are one of the MOST important parts of what creates the life we lead and I think they play a huge role in mental wellbeing.

As soon as we are born we are exposed to stereotypes. Our families and people around us label us without even releasing. As a child I was quite often the “quiet” one, the one that works hard, the kind one but also the one that worries about everything. So for years I fulfilled this prophecy, I remained pretty quiet, worked hard at school, made sure I was kind to people and also seemed to take on worries, which for years I was happy with. But what I want to know is if I’d never been labelled any of these things…would I have been different?

Now lets take it to a few years on….I’d been diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive compulsive disorder). Don’t get me wrong, from knowing this diagnosis it led to the journey of who I am today and led me to receive the right treatment. However, from that day I had made a stamp on my brain.

See the source image

‘It’s okay to worry about everything because you have OCD’

‘It’s okay to overthink every situation because you have OCD’

‘Try not to get too upset about these intrusive thoughts, it’s just your OCD’

How will I ever let my mind heal if I already tell it it’s ‘OCD ridden’? The more I label my brain, the more it will fulfil its prophecy, the same as the characteristics we are given at birth.

Now im not saying mental illnesees are created by you because science tells us they are not..but what if I told you you could retrain your mind?🧠

I’ve decided to embark on a mission to retrain my mind…now I know it won’t be easy but I want to try it for all of you who are struggling. I want to see if what therpiats say is actually true.

‘I won’t be a worrier, that’s not me’

‘I don’t have OCD, it was something I once had when I needed some protection’

‘I am not insecure, I am confident’

‘I am not quiet, I am bubbly’

The very place that creates your bad thoughts, is the very place that can diminish them and I think too many people forget that. I believe that whatever is developed can be changed. There are people that have got rid of their OCD and I will try my whole life to be one of those people too.

Never let an experience, a label or a mental illness define who you are. I promise you, you can be whoever you want to be, I believe In you. Retrain you brain to believe who you want to be.❤️

Thanks for reading, keep safe and stay happy!🤩

Do we have to “find ourselves?”🌍

Now I’m sure we’ve all heard this phrase before, like when an individual goes travelling or takes a year out before university. But what does it mean to “find yourself” and why at the age of 19 do I experience the pressure of this more than ever?

To me, by saying we want to “find ourselves” we create this negative connotation that in order to do this, we must have been lost in the first place. But that’s not true. That’s why I’m replacing it with my phrase of…”knowing yourself”.

I think the key to happiness is having knowledge of who you are as a person. Having this knowledge gives you the power to know how to fix yourself on a bad day, how to predict your own behaviour and how to improve relationships in your life. It’s also the key to being happy on your own. Being alone doesn’t mean loneliness when you can enjoy your own company.

I want you to really learn to “know yourself”, here’s how…

1). Behaviour – this involves knowing your behaviour and being able to predict how you’ll react in specific situations. Learn your patterns of behaviour and know how your mind works. When you already know how you’re going to react, you have time to prepare and you have time to control yourself. For example, I can often stop a panic attack before it’s even happened…because I know how I work.

2). Attitudes– How can you stand up for yourself when you don’t even know what you believe? Social media and the news have such a negative effect on the opinions we create and adapt to. So before anyone can change your beliefs, know what you believe in and stand up for what you think is right. Being true to yourself allows a healthier relationship with your inner self. Don’t confuse it… it creates an unstable balance.

3). Knowing what makes you happy- I often think people spend their whole life searching for happiness without even really knowing what they want. Before finding happiness in the things that make others happy….work out what makes you happy first. I discovered that, for me, happiness is in the tiniest things. A 10 minute yoga session, a good coffee or a hug from a loved one. My happy isn’t necessarily your happy. But you deserve to be happy everyday…..find what makes you happy and never live a day without your “happy things.”

4). Discovery– Imagine if there was something that would help you to find calm or happiness but you never tried finding it? What if you had a talent you never uncovered? DISCOVER. Try new things. Life is full of exciting little things and you don’t have to travel the world to find them. I found mediation, something which has changed my life. But it took an anxiety disorder for me to find it. Imagine if that never happened. Don’t let it take a bad place for you to discover what makes you happy. You deserve happiness TODAY, RIGHT NOW! So get discovering.

Don’t always assume that the happy place you’re in now is your limit. What if you can be even happier and calmer? Never stop discovering your abilities!

Living in such a fast paced modern day world we get caught up in the socially constructed life we are meant to lead that we forget what we actually want from life. When someone new asks you about yourself what do you tell them? Do you tell them about your job and where you’ve travelled or do you tell them what makes you happy and what goals you have in mind? Think about that next time.

You don’t have to ‘find yourself’ but you owe it to you to ‘know yourself’. When you know who you really are…it’s liberating.

Woman Standing on Cliff

Thanks for reading, have a great week guys, stay safe and start discovering!

I gave up social media for a week- has it changed me?

The thing we all can’t live without. Is it generational? Nope, whatever age, as a world we are addicted. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, you name it, there’s a high chance at least one of these platforms play a huge role in your life.

Now social media can be a great thing…but it’s also one of the greatest downfalls of today’s society. We measure our popularity and achievements on a single like we recieve on a social network platform. Now tell me that’s a healthy way to live? I certainly don’t think so.

As a human race we are meant to be in packs, we protect eachother, love eachother and work together in a team. Although social media claims to bring people together, I think it actually creates a place of loneliness so dark it’s scary.

You wake up. Check Instagram. Seeing someone filtered and claiming to have the perfect life (even though these don’t exist). You then see a person having a flash holiday whilst you’re in a dead end job trying your hardest just to pay the bills. Without even knowing you’ve started your day on a low. Your mind is already negative. Remember your mind food….

You’ve already had an unhealthy breakfast and this is bound to effect the rest of your day.

In terms of me giving up social media this included, Instagram, Facebook and using only snapchat for answering messages. I also avoided any celeb news that popped up on my laptop.

So what was my verdict?

1). My screen time went down by 20%- That’s 20% more time that I’m spending productively. It’s also 20% more chance to fill my mind with positivity rather than negativity.

2). I felt more connected to my life- Often when scrolling through social media or watching a reality programme, you are disconnected from your own life as you indulge in another’s. This week I feel like I’ve spent even more time living my own life and spending time on what’s going on around me. It’s important to really find enjoyment in your own life and not others.

3). It was easier to escape bad mindsets- I always seem to delete social media when going through a bad time in my life and I think that says a lot. I’m not saying giving it up takes away bad days or bad mindsets but it certainly stops you from making a situation worse. If you wake up and feel insecure it’s much easier to get back on track and remove the thought when social media isn’t present in your life. That is a massive deal.

4). I felt less pressure– without even knowing, having social media creates a pressure we as humans don’t need. “Why didn’t you answer my message?”, “Why didn’t you like my photo I tagged you in?”, “Did you see **** have passed their driving test?”. “Will people see that I’m bloated in this photo?” “You’ve not posted a photo with your boyfriend in a while, have you broke up?”. WE DON’T NEED THESE UNECESSARY PRESSURES that social media creates! Keep your mind calm, keep your life calm.

5). I enjoyed moments more– I’m not saying that posting on social media is always a bad thing but it’s definitely nice to enjoy special moments without documenting it. On Friday I had a night that I’ll remember forever, but that moment was just for me…not Instagram. For every moment spent posting a photo, you take away a moment from the current situation.

Stop and take a second to enjoy a moment only you and someone else are experiencing❤️

Next time you’re in a bad headspace, feel insecure or feel pressured…step away from your virtual life. Be present in the now. How can we learn to love our minds and bodies if we spend our time looking at others more than ourselves? Someone will always seem prettier, smarter and better than you….but in reality no one is YOU. Really learn to love yourself for your mind, your body, your heart and not the amount of followers you have on instagram. Don’t compare your life, no one else can live your life for you….learn to really love what you have.❤️

Remember your mind food. Choose your diet wisely….

I challenge YOU to delete your social media apps this week. Even if it’s just one day to begin with. See what change it has on you. In all honesty I don’t even feel like redownloading my apps this week, I’m really enjoying the break. Thanks so much reading, I hope you’re all safe and well. Keep smiling, keep happy and keep focusing on YOU💞

It’s time to be real- My battle with food🍰

I was afraid to open up about this part of my life, but how can I tell you all how important it is to talk if I’m too afraid to open up myself?

So I’m taking the challenge….here is my journey of my battle with eating. I hope I can reach out to anyone suffering right now.

To me I’d always seen an “eating disorder” as undereating, a skinny physique and something I never needed to worry about. This is completely wrong. Society is good at creating unrealistic representations of everything, eating disorders being one of them. They’re not about what’s going on on the outside, that’s just a side effect, its what’s going on on the inside, in the mind.

It all started with wanting to lose a couple of pounds after indulging on a 2 week holiday, which was one of the best times of my life. However, what started with wanting to lose a couple of pounds, became an unhealthy obsession leading to a vicious cycle and being trapped inside my own mind. Along with the pounds went my curves, my glow, my confidence and my happiness within my own body. Despite ‘seeming’ healthy to the world, I’d just began my new life consisting of restrictions, starvation, excessive exercise and therefore a very little amount of energy, making everyday tasks impossible.

Now it’s easy to look back and see all the bad decisions you embarked on but whilst you’re in that headspace you spend your whole life in denial. It’s like you’re protecting your disorder, whilst feeding it by listening to everything it tells you. We actually let a disorder control us to the point of danger. It’s scary to accept.

I often struggle classing myself having suffered an ‘eating disorder’ because in my mind I didn’t look ill and I wasn’t hospitalised, therefore I don’t have the right to call it by this name. But again, that’s wrong. An eating disorder is characterised by restrictions, constant calorie counting, over exercising, binging, having crippling anxiety around food and feeling fear when eating in front of others…you don’t have to be underweight to have this disorder.

Now i completely recommend anyone suffering with an ED to get professional help. However, luckily for me I recognised when things were getting really bad and decided to embark on the journey of recovery myself, I wanted to defeat this on my own. In my head, this demon was no different to any other id fought off before and if you know me well I wont let anything destroy me. It wasn’t easy. I had bad days, I had better days and I had days where I wanted to give up. But here i am today telling you my story, these dark places don’t last forever. So now id like to share with you a few ways of how I overcame this on my own-

1). Acceptance- The first stage to overcoming anything is accepting that it exists. You don’t need to have an extreme case of a disorder for it to be a disorder. Accept that you’re unwell and make sure you know exactly what is it that you’re experiencing.

2) Accept help- Don’t be alone, talk to people, talk to your family, your loved ones and it you need to, speak to a therapist. I found so many accounts on Instagram of people suffering the same as me, sometimes speaking to a stranger is a lot easier. It’s so much easier knowing other people are suffering too, you’re not alone I promise you!

3). Work out when it started- I’m not an expert but I know that an ED is often triggered when you have lost control of something in your life, the disorder is there to take the wheel because you might have lost it somewhere down the line. Work out what this could be but don’t worry if you can’t. Remember that disorders are actually protecting you from what’s really going on sub-conciosully.

4). Be prepared for the journey– Remember you’re not going to be cured overnight, this is a journey and it’s not going to be easy but it’s going to be worth it. It’s a marathon not a sprint but the end destination is the same.

5). Remember that food is there to keep you alive- Change your relationship from a bad one to a good one. See food as medicine, it’s there to keep you alive, not kill you. Take back control, don’t let this voice take away your human needs.

6). Talk to yourself- It sounds stupid but it’s easy to let things control you when only you can hear them. Speak out loud, “I’m going to eat this because I want to and because it’s good for me.” Be in control of your thoughts.

7).Set goals- Categorise your ‘fear foods’ and set yourself the challenge to tick them off. This might start off a fear a month, leading to a fear a week. The same as most obsessive disorders, when you face the fear and realise nothing bad happens, it takes a little more fear away.

I was so shocked when I ate a burger that I didn’t gain 10 pounds, in fact it was the most satisfied I’d felt in a year. “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”

8). Delete social media- There’s so many times I’d spend hours comparing myself to others on the internet, thinking I needed to look the same. Don’t do it to yourself! Remember your mind food, check what you’re exposing your mind to. Right now you might need some time out from others filtered pictures. You are enough just the way you are, don’t ever change for anyone!

9). Remember what matters in life- I know it’s hard overcoming a disorder like this and it certainly doesn’t happen overnight but there are a couple of things that really made me see sense in my darkest times. These being-

-As you get older will you remember the time you and your family had a BBQ and danced till dawn or will you remember the time you didn’t eat your own birthday cake because it had many calories? Will your loved one remember the amazing, kind and caring person you were or will they remember the number on your scales at each stage of your life? We have these small moments in life where we are in complete awe od the world we live in and the life we have, let me tell you, none of these moments are defined by the way you looked or how much you weighed. Count your blessings and not your calories. Good looks don’t last forever but good memories do. Remember what matters in life….YOU matter and this illness will destroy you if you don’t take control now!❤️

Illnesses like this don’t discriminate, they affect men and women of all ages and sizes and too many people sadly let this illness take their life. If my story can save just one person I will be eternally grateful. If you notice any of these signs mentioned in someone, please keep an eye on them and be wary as to how you treat them. Remember it’s not how they look but how they act. Look after yourselves and look after eachother!💞

My journey isn’t over yet, but I can admit that I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been. I promise you true happiness exists. I won’t ever use my stories for attention but I will use them to do good. Thank you to those who carried me on my bad days, I am forever grateful for the life I have. Thank you so much for reading, keep smiling!🥰