Do we have to “find ourselves?”🌍

Now I’m sure we’ve all heard this phrase before, like when an individual goes travelling or takes a year out before university. But what does it mean to “find yourself” and why at the age of 19 do I experience the pressure of this more than ever?

To me, by saying we want to “find ourselves” we create this negative connotation that in order to do this, we must have been lost in the first place. But that’s not true. That’s why I’m replacing it with my phrase of…”knowing yourself”.

I think the key to happiness is having knowledge of who you are as a person. Having this knowledge gives you the power to know how to fix yourself on a bad day, how to predict your own behaviour and how to improve relationships in your life. It’s also the key to being happy on your own. Being alone doesn’t mean loneliness when you can enjoy your own company.

I want you to really learn to “know yourself”, here’s how…

1). Behaviour – this involves knowing your behaviour and being able to predict how you’ll react in specific situations. Learn your patterns of behaviour and know how your mind works. When you already know how you’re going to react, you have time to prepare and you have time to control yourself. For example, I can often stop a panic attack before it’s even happened…because I know how I work.

2). Attitudes– How can you stand up for yourself when you don’t even know what you believe? Social media and the news have such a negative effect on the opinions we create and adapt to. So before anyone can change your beliefs, know what you believe in and stand up for what you think is right. Being true to yourself allows a healthier relationship with your inner self. Don’t confuse it… it creates an unstable balance.

3). Knowing what makes you happy- I often think people spend their whole life searching for happiness without even really knowing what they want. Before finding happiness in the things that make others happy….work out what makes you happy first. I discovered that, for me, happiness is in the tiniest things. A 10 minute yoga session, a good coffee or a hug from a loved one. My happy isn’t necessarily your happy. But you deserve to be happy everyday…..find what makes you happy and never live a day without your “happy things.”

4). Discovery– Imagine if there was something that would help you to find calm or happiness but you never tried finding it? What if you had a talent you never uncovered? DISCOVER. Try new things. Life is full of exciting little things and you don’t have to travel the world to find them. I found mediation, something which has changed my life. But it took an anxiety disorder for me to find it. Imagine if that never happened. Don’t let it take a bad place for you to discover what makes you happy. You deserve happiness TODAY, RIGHT NOW! So get discovering.

Don’t always assume that the happy place you’re in now is your limit. What if you can be even happier and calmer? Never stop discovering your abilities!

Living in such a fast paced modern day world we get caught up in the socially constructed life we are meant to lead that we forget what we actually want from life. When someone new asks you about yourself what do you tell them? Do you tell them about your job and where you’ve travelled or do you tell them what makes you happy and what goals you have in mind? Think about that next time.

You don’t have to ‘find yourself’ but you owe it to you to ‘know yourself’. When you know who you really are…it’s liberating.

Woman Standing on Cliff

Thanks for reading, have a great week guys, stay safe and start discovering!

I gave up social media for a week- has it changed me?

The thing we all can’t live without. Is it generational? Nope, whatever age, as a world we are addicted. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, you name it, there’s a high chance at least one of these platforms play a huge role in your life.

Now social media can be a great thing…but it’s also one of the greatest downfalls of today’s society. We measure our popularity and achievements on a single like we recieve on a social network platform. Now tell me that’s a healthy way to live? I certainly don’t think so.

As a human race we are meant to be in packs, we protect eachother, love eachother and work together in a team. Although social media claims to bring people together, I think it actually creates a place of loneliness so dark it’s scary.

You wake up. Check Instagram. Seeing someone filtered and claiming to have the perfect life (even though these don’t exist). You then see a person having a flash holiday whilst you’re in a dead end job trying your hardest just to pay the bills. Without even knowing you’ve started your day on a low. Your mind is already negative. Remember your mind food….

You’ve already had an unhealthy breakfast and this is bound to effect the rest of your day.

In terms of me giving up social media this included, Instagram, Facebook and using only snapchat for answering messages. I also avoided any celeb news that popped up on my laptop.

So what was my verdict?

1). My screen time went down by 20%- That’s 20% more time that I’m spending productively. It’s also 20% more chance to fill my mind with positivity rather than negativity.

2). I felt more connected to my life- Often when scrolling through social media or watching a reality programme, you are disconnected from your own life as you indulge in another’s. This week I feel like I’ve spent even more time living my own life and spending time on what’s going on around me. It’s important to really find enjoyment in your own life and not others.

3). It was easier to escape bad mindsets- I always seem to delete social media when going through a bad time in my life and I think that says a lot. I’m not saying giving it up takes away bad days or bad mindsets but it certainly stops you from making a situation worse. If you wake up and feel insecure it’s much easier to get back on track and remove the thought when social media isn’t present in your life. That is a massive deal.

4). I felt less pressure– without even knowing, having social media creates a pressure we as humans don’t need. “Why didn’t you answer my message?”, “Why didn’t you like my photo I tagged you in?”, “Did you see **** have passed their driving test?”. “Will people see that I’m bloated in this photo?” “You’ve not posted a photo with your boyfriend in a while, have you broke up?”. WE DON’T NEED THESE UNECESSARY PRESSURES that social media creates! Keep your mind calm, keep your life calm.

5). I enjoyed moments more– I’m not saying that posting on social media is always a bad thing but it’s definitely nice to enjoy special moments without documenting it. On Friday I had a night that I’ll remember forever, but that moment was just for me…not Instagram. For every moment spent posting a photo, you take away a moment from the current situation.

Stop and take a second to enjoy a moment only you and someone else are experiencing❤️

Next time you’re in a bad headspace, feel insecure or feel pressured…step away from your virtual life. Be present in the now. How can we learn to love our minds and bodies if we spend our time looking at others more than ourselves? Someone will always seem prettier, smarter and better than you….but in reality no one is YOU. Really learn to love yourself for your mind, your body, your heart and not the amount of followers you have on instagram. Don’t compare your life, no one else can live your life for you….learn to really love what you have.❤️

Remember your mind food. Choose your diet wisely….

I challenge YOU to delete your social media apps this week. Even if it’s just one day to begin with. See what change it has on you. In all honesty I don’t even feel like redownloading my apps this week, I’m really enjoying the break. Thanks so much reading, I hope you’re all safe and well. Keep smiling, keep happy and keep focusing on YOU💞

It’s time to be real- My battle with food🍰

I was afraid to open up about this part of my life, but how can I tell you all how important it is to talk if I’m too afraid to open up myself?

So I’m taking the challenge….here is my journey of my battle with eating. I hope I can reach out to anyone suffering right now.

To me I’d always seen an “eating disorder” as undereating, a skinny physique and something I never needed to worry about. This is completely wrong. Society is good at creating unrealistic representations of everything, eating disorders being one of them. They’re not about what’s going on on the outside, that’s just a side effect, its what’s going on on the inside, in the mind.

It all started with wanting to lose a couple of pounds after indulging on a 2 week holiday, which was one of the best times of my life. However, what started with wanting to lose a couple of pounds, became an unhealthy obsession leading to a vicious cycle and being trapped inside my own mind. Along with the pounds went my curves, my glow, my confidence and my happiness within my own body. Despite ‘seeming’ healthy to the world, I’d just began my new life consisting of restrictions, starvation, excessive exercise and therefore a very little amount of energy, making everyday tasks impossible.

Now it’s easy to look back and see all the bad decisions you embarked on but whilst you’re in that headspace you spend your whole life in denial. It’s like you’re protecting your disorder, whilst feeding it by listening to everything it tells you. We actually let a disorder control us to the point of danger. It’s scary to accept.

I often struggle classing myself having suffered an ‘eating disorder’ because in my mind I didn’t look ill and I wasn’t hospitalised, therefore I don’t have the right to call it by this name. But again, that’s wrong. An eating disorder is characterised by restrictions, constant calorie counting, over exercising, binging, having crippling anxiety around food and feeling fear when eating in front of others…you don’t have to be underweight to have this disorder.

Now i completely recommend anyone suffering with an ED to get professional help. However, luckily for me I recognised when things were getting really bad and decided to embark on the journey of recovery myself, I wanted to defeat this on my own. In my head, this demon was no different to any other id fought off before and if you know me well I wont let anything destroy me. It wasn’t easy. I had bad days, I had better days and I had days where I wanted to give up. But here i am today telling you my story, these dark places don’t last forever. So now id like to share with you a few ways of how I overcame this on my own-

1). Acceptance- The first stage to overcoming anything is accepting that it exists. You don’t need to have an extreme case of a disorder for it to be a disorder. Accept that you’re unwell and make sure you know exactly what is it that you’re experiencing.

2) Accept help- Don’t be alone, talk to people, talk to your family, your loved ones and it you need to, speak to a therapist. I found so many accounts on Instagram of people suffering the same as me, sometimes speaking to a stranger is a lot easier. It’s so much easier knowing other people are suffering too, you’re not alone I promise you!

3). Work out when it started- I’m not an expert but I know that an ED is often triggered when you have lost control of something in your life, the disorder is there to take the wheel because you might have lost it somewhere down the line. Work out what this could be but don’t worry if you can’t. Remember that disorders are actually protecting you from what’s really going on sub-conciosully.

4). Be prepared for the journey– Remember you’re not going to be cured overnight, this is a journey and it’s not going to be easy but it’s going to be worth it. It’s a marathon not a sprint but the end destination is the same.

5). Remember that food is there to keep you alive- Change your relationship from a bad one to a good one. See food as medicine, it’s there to keep you alive, not kill you. Take back control, don’t let this voice take away your human needs.

6). Talk to yourself- It sounds stupid but it’s easy to let things control you when only you can hear them. Speak out loud, “I’m going to eat this because I want to and because it’s good for me.” Be in control of your thoughts.

7).Set goals- Categorise your ‘fear foods’ and set yourself the challenge to tick them off. This might start off a fear a month, leading to a fear a week. The same as most obsessive disorders, when you face the fear and realise nothing bad happens, it takes a little more fear away.

I was so shocked when I ate a burger that I didn’t gain 10 pounds, in fact it was the most satisfied I’d felt in a year. “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”

8). Delete social media- There’s so many times I’d spend hours comparing myself to others on the internet, thinking I needed to look the same. Don’t do it to yourself! Remember your mind food, check what you’re exposing your mind to. Right now you might need some time out from others filtered pictures. You are enough just the way you are, don’t ever change for anyone!

9). Remember what matters in life- I know it’s hard overcoming a disorder like this and it certainly doesn’t happen overnight but there are a couple of things that really made me see sense in my darkest times. These being-

-As you get older will you remember the time you and your family had a BBQ and danced till dawn or will you remember the time you didn’t eat your own birthday cake because it had many calories? Will your loved one remember the amazing, kind and caring person you were or will they remember the number on your scales at each stage of your life? We have these small moments in life where we are in complete awe od the world we live in and the life we have, let me tell you, none of these moments are defined by the way you looked or how much you weighed. Count your blessings and not your calories. Good looks don’t last forever but good memories do. Remember what matters in life….YOU matter and this illness will destroy you if you don’t take control now!❤️

Illnesses like this don’t discriminate, they affect men and women of all ages and sizes and too many people sadly let this illness take their life. If my story can save just one person I will be eternally grateful. If you notice any of these signs mentioned in someone, please keep an eye on them and be wary as to how you treat them. Remember it’s not how they look but how they act. Look after yourselves and look after eachother!💞

My journey isn’t over yet, but I can admit that I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been. I promise you true happiness exists. I won’t ever use my stories for attention but I will use them to do good. Thank you to those who carried me on my bad days, I am forever grateful for the life I have. Thank you so much for reading, keep smiling!🥰

Mental health week🧠❤️

For mental health week this week I thought I’d kickstart with a blog about the person behind the laptop…What does mental health mean to me?

When we speak about mental health, people often assume it is referring to the negatives, maybe a disorder like depression. But actually ‘mental health’ is the health of your mind as a whole, both the positives and the negatives. The good days and bad days. That’s human nature.

Now, like life, I don’t think we remain in one destination, I see mental health as a journey. In fact my darkest days have led me to my brightest. BUT I know these sunny days aren’t a destination and I’m okay with that…because in life, in order to find even better places, we must visit the bad places too. Appreciate the sun whilst it’s here but be prepared for a little rain too.

So in a nutshell, your mental health is what says on the tin- how healthy your mind is. So now you’re thinking, well that’s not fair, I’ve got anxiety so are you saying I’m not healthy? Not at all. Think of your mind like your physical fitness, you can be amazing at running but rubbish at swimming. It doesn’t mean you’re unhealthy, you just have different talents and abilities, the same as your mind. Again, disabled athletes may have the use of only one leg yet win a gold medal at the Paralympics. Just because you have a disability it doesn’t stop you from being the best at something! Physical or mental disabilities don’t define you..in fact they often shape you. My mental battles have made me the strong minded person I am today.

So what is mental health awareness week?

Again, its name gives it away. It’s all about removing the stigma surrounding mental health disorders, trying to increase the awareness of mental health and getting people talking. That’s what I hope to do with my blogs. You don’t have to be the ‘talking’ type to admit when something is wrong. We are not okay all of the time, life is hard and sometimes we can’t cope. Once you find someone experiencing the same as you, it already feels like a weight off your shoulders. Mental illness is more common than you realise…you really are never alone!

So keeping up with the theme, what made me start a mental health related blog?

Having suffered with different anxiety disorders for most of my life, I found it led me to finding what really makes me happy, whilst also finding what helps me on my bad days and I really wanted to share this with those who need some guidance. I have used writing to pull me out of some dark headspaces and what better than to share my reality with those who are facing similar battles to me. We now live in such a fake, sugar-coated world that I think we need a bit of reality to know that perfect isn’t real. I hope my blogs show you this, I admit when life is good but also when life is bad. Filters can be used to hide your flaws but they can’t be used to fix your emotions. I really hope to reach out to as many people as possible, no one should face a battle alone. I’m with you!

So what can I do to keep my mental health stable?

If you’ve read my other blogs you will see that I love to give tips about improving both wellbeing and mental health. We all have different needs but here are a couple of things that I use to keep my mind as happy and healthy as I can-

1). Check up on yourself- In order to know how you’re feeling today you have to check up on yourself. Ask yourself “How are you feeling today?”. Maybe you’re feeling good today or maybe you’re not. Once you acknowledge how you’re feeling you can begin to know what approach you need to take today, maybe you need to take a step back today and give yourself some ‘me’ time.

2). Reflection- I talk about reflection a lot in my blogs as it’s something I find so beneficial for my mind. Simply using 5 minutes of your day to reflect on both how you’re feeling and what’s happened in your day so far helps you to remain in control of your mind and emotions. From reflecting half way through the day you can stop your mind from running off, it can transform a bad start into an all round good day.

3). Exercise- I don’t know where I would be without exercise, its so beneficial for my mental health. A key part of my morning routine is a 15 minute yoga session. We often turn to things like yoga when feeling stressed however, by doing it at the beginning of your day you’re guaranteed to start your day feeling fresh, focused and calm.

4). Positive affirmations- It’s so important that you don’t forget how amazing you are! Write down a list of things you’re grateful for as well as everything you like about yourself. Bad mental health often comes from our lack of love towards ourselves, give yourself some credit, you’re doing great!

To see more tips on increasing your wellbeing, make sure to check out my previous blogs❤️

See the source image

I really hope you enjoyed my little introductory blog to kickstart mental health awareness week! Remember that your mental health and wellbeing is so important, we only have one mind so look after it and be kind to yourself. Talking is key! Please remember that my email is open at anytime for anything! See you later in the week for another mental health related blog! Keep smiling, keep talking, keep happy and keep healthy, lets take these negative stigmas away. Thanks so much for reading!❤️

Mental health awareness week

As you know from my previous blog, this week is mental heath awareness week and this year the theme is “kindness”.

We all know what kindness is but how much real kindness do we receive on a daily basis? We are now in an era where kindness is there at the touch of a hand, a nice comment on Instagram or a ‘love’ reaction on Facebook, but is this type of kindness really enough to keep our mental state healthy? When was the last time someone went above and beyond for you and when was the last time you really took care of yourself?

Although our kindness towards others is very important, I thought I’d focus on another type of kindness today, one we often ignore…the kindness towards ourselves.

Now, I’m sat here on a beautiful evening trying to rack my brains for ideas for this blog, its mental health week so I want this to be perfect. But I just realised that this blog isn’t me forcing myself to write the perfect piece, its real and truthful. And to be honest no good writing is ever created by being forced, its natural and flowing. But this fits in perfectly with the idea of self kindness.

Whilst sitting here trying to write to perfection after a long, tiring day I’ve realised I’m not being kind to myself. How can I sit here fatigued and unmotivated when I’m supposed to be telling you about self kindness. So here is my plan-

1). I’m going to run a bath, switch off my phone and have some real ME time, I’ve felt mentally unstable the past couple of days and know when I need to just stop.

2). I’m going to congratulate myself on surviving the day and give myself a pat on the back for the amazing job that I’m doing, just getting through the day.

3). If I don’t feel like exercising tomorrow, I wont. It’s a tough one for me, I find it hard to stop sometimes when really I should listen to both my mind and my body…we all need rest days.

4). I’m going to give myself a break- I try so hard trying to get things done whilst forgetting that my mental health isn’t great this week. I need to stop trying to win at life everyday. I’m exhausted and can’t quite control my thoughts (a sign that you need to reflect and take some time out).

So how can you be kinder to yourself?

1). Speak kindly to yourself- You might speak to others kindly but do you speak kindly to yourself? Look yourself in the mirror and speak kind words to your mind and your body- “you look amazing today”.

2). Know what you need- It’s really important in life to know what makes you happy and to know when you need to stop. It’s respectful towards yourself. When you know what cheers you up it makes the bad days a little bit easier. Do what makes YOU happy, it’s kind.

3). Have something for yourself- I think it’s so important to have something that’s for you and only you. Whether it’s a book you’re reading, a Netflix series you watch alone or a morning run. Have something especially for your “me” time. “Self care isn’t selfish”.

4).Stop putting pressure on yourself- You don’t have to climb a mountain everyday you know. It’s all about small steps. Move at your own pace and stop pressuring yourself to get things done. Life shouldn’t always be stressful! Be kind to that mind of yours.💞

The sweet analogy- Something my dad taught me years ago. We all have a bowl a sweets and when we give our time and energy to someone they take a sweet (it’s good to be kind to others). Then if they give their time and energy to us, we take one from their bowl. Think about how many sweets you’d have in your bowl? There’s times in my life when I’d given so many I had none for myself, think about that for a moment. Although we should give our efforts and be kind others, we need to remember that we need some sweets too. No one wants an empty bowl. So carry on giving out sweets but also give some back to yourself. Be kind to you.☀️

Thanks so much for reading! I hope you have an amazing weekend, be kind to others and be kind to yourself…today and always!🥰

Misconceptions of anxiety disorders- clearing them up

I’m so happy that over the past few years the stigma attached to mental health disorders has massively changed. People aren’t afraid to speak out anymore and when we start to open up, good changes happen. Now, personally I think stigmas exist due to lack of knowledge, people being unaware about what these disorders entail and therefore judging based on socially constructed stereotypes, this makes speaking out feel scary.

I don’t want it to be scary for you. I want you to be happy with who you are. So today I’ve decided to clear up some misconceptions that I have come across about people living with anxiety disorders (all my own thoughts).

Trees on Mountain

1). ‘If you have anxiety you’re quiet, socially awkward and unconfident’- This is completely wrong. In fact, people with anxiety are pretty good at hiding it after a while. It’s something that comes and goes and something with you learn to live with, it doesn’t define your personality in any way whatsoever. I have lived with anxiety for years… and if you know me well, I am definitely not quiet!

2). ‘If you have an eating disorder you’re very underweight’- Again NOT TRUE! An eating disorder is not defined by the way you look, it’s defined by a bad relationship with both food and your body, whether this is undereating, overeating or just a general anxiety around food. You would be surprised about the amount of people living with eating disorders that hide it so awfully well. Its important to recognise the signs of this disorder through a persons behaviour rather than the way they look.

3). ‘If you’re having a panic attack it will be clear to everyone around you‘- If you suffer with panic disorder then you know exactly what I mean. Yes, having a panic attack can be scary for both you and those around you and when its really bad, its a dramatic scene. However, suffering a panic attack doesn’t always involve the physical symptoms of dropping to the floor in pain, sometimes it’s only you that knows it’s happening. You don’t want to make a fuss so try your best to control it, to others this may seem like you’re not listening, mentally not in the room and often seem a bit snappy. Suffering in silence is an often occurrence for those with anxiety…so next time I ignore you, just give me 5 minutes!

4).’ When you have OCD you’ve got an obsession with cleaning‘- Not necessarily. Compulsions within this disorder can be in the form of anything! These compulsions are there to both distract you and protect you from the anxiety that is subconsciously present. For me, it was in the form if touching things 8 times (time consuming I know), for others it can be excessive cleaning, some it’s counting numbers in their head all day long and for others it’s random obsessive thoughts. Each debilitating and time consuming. So next time you see someone doing something out of the ordinary, accept that it’s just a little quirk of theirs. Its hard enough carrying out compulsions all day long so not having to answer questions is a big bonus for OCD sufferers.

5). ‘If you have depression you look sad all the time’- People who have depression are often the ones you least expect. We often assume people with depression are easy to spot yet a lot of these sufferers are good at hiding it. Just because someone lights up a room it doesn’t mean they’re sparkly and bright on the inside, take this into account.

6). ‘When you have anxiety you’re scared of everything’- Like they say, feel the fear and do it anyway. Having anxiety doesn’t mean you’re more scared than anyone else, you might just worry a little more. I still get nervous posting blogs just in case no one likes them or thinks they’re stupid, but it doesn’t mean I won’t post. I like to challenge myself to do something that scares me everyday. Try it tomorrow.

7). “I’m not the anxious type”-Yes you might not suffer with an anxiety disorder but anxiety itself is part of human nature, it’s a function that we all experience at some point in our lives. That’s why it’s important to know how to both control it and deal with it. My blogs are not just for people with disorders, they’re for everyone!

8). A different type of assumption, “You only write these blogs to help people”- Of course I write them to help people and I want my blogs to reach as many people as possible but I want you to know I also do it for myself. Writing has pulled me out of so many dark places and that’s why I’m so grateful that you read them…so I can keep writing. They help me in so many ways and I really hope they help you too!

Purple Night Sky Photo
You’ve got this!

Thanks so much for reading guys, I really hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it! Hope you’re all staying safe and well and have an amazing weekend in the sun. Keep shining!

Things I wish I knew when I was younger

I might only be young but there’s been many years in my life so far that I wish I knew what I know now. Not worrying about the opinion of others, not feeling anxious when I don’t need to and not overthinking things so much.

I’ve seen this idea a couple of times in magazines and blog post ideas and thought it would be a good read! So I hope you enjoy!🥰

1). Don’t change for others- It’s hard to take this advice when you’re young and all you want to do it be accepted by others but changing for people never works. The more you change, the more you have to deviate from who you really are and the less happy you’ll be. Don’t follow the crowd, be YOU everyday and let people love you for the person you really are…it’s something you won’t regret. It’s takes time but once you really like who you are, you’ll never feel alone.

2). Say NO- I still struggle with saying “No” now but it’s something I’m improving on. There’s so many times in my life that I’ve participated or done things just to please others because I was scared to upset anyone by saying no. But as you get older you realise what’s important in life, and you can’t do everything for everyone. I sometimes forget that this life is mine and therefore I can control it. You can’t have time for your own well-being if you keep saying “Yes” to things you don’t want to! Take back control of your life❤️

3). Don’t worry about the future, everything works out- Something we should all use in our everyday. There were so many days I worried about things that then turned out to be absolutely fine. Everything worked out. Remember this on those bad days you have now…everything turns out okay in the end!

4). Don’t compare yourself to others- Although it’s still hard not to sometimes, I wish I knew the negative impact that comparing yourself to others really has on you. I spent years jeopardising my own happiness by thinking I should look different or be achieving certain things. I wish I hadn’t now because I’m exactly where I need to be and comparing yourself never works. I’m happy being me and you should be too!

5). You’re amazing and doing great!- It’s upsets me that there’s been so many time’s in my life I didn’t give myself enough credit. We often beat ourselves up for no apparent reason and overthink things until we almost lose our minds. I wish I could tell myself that I was right just the way I was and that I was doing amazing! Are there times you think the same? Remember that, the next time you try to beat yourself up on a bad day. Speak kind words to yourself💞

6). Believe in yourself- I really wish I’d believed in myself more when I was younger. I was always expecting to fail or be judged. I’d stand on the start line of a sprint race and already have lost the battle in my mind by telling myself I couldn’t do it. I often wonder what I would have achieved if I’d just believed in myself.

After writing this I genuinely feel like it’s done something great for me (you should try it and see if you feel the same!) It’s like a reflection task, they always seem to make you think about how you see and treat yourself. It’s made me see that the things I wish I knew back then, I still don’t always do now….sometimes not believing in myself or not saying “No” when I really need to.

It’s something I always seem to do now when making decisions…I wonder if my 10 year old self (so full of hopes and dreams) would be happy with who I am today? It sounds cheesy but I think it works. I sometimes struggled with confidence back then but I liked who I used to be and I like who I am now. Would your younger self be happy with how you treat yourself today? Remember how far you’ve come to get where you are today and be proud of yourself!⭐️

A quote used often in our family- “Be who you needed when you were younger😌”

You are magic!

Thank YOU for reading! Hope you enjoyed this blog…Stay safe, stay happy and I’ll be back with more positive posts soon! Have a great week all💞

(My email is open at all times for advice❣️)

Leaving lockdown

As exciting the thought of leaving lockdown soon is, I think its important to address whats about to change.

It really upsets me the amount of dark places people will no doubt have been in during this period of time…it’s been difficult, I’ve certainly been challenged at times and although things will change soon, I want to keep up my support as we leave lockdown, re entering the world that we no longer recognise.

We first have to remember that just because things are getting back to normal, it doesn’t mean your state of mind will….things take time and that’s okay. If things don’t feel right and your mindset doesn’t go back to how it was before….don’t panic. It’s about taking small steps and not expecting everything at once.

Monochrome Photo Of Smartphone

Here, based on all my own thoughts, I’ve devised some tips and advice-

1- Accept that things are different-

At first when all this lockdown began, I imagined that once it ended we’d all leave our houses, be reunited with loved ones and get back to our normal lives. But realistically this will not be the case. Accept that things are different, its going to take a while to get our lives back on track. But everyone is the same, there’s no rush, no pressure and everything will fall back when it’s meant to.

2- We have just survived an EPIDEMIC!-

We cannot forget this period of time that we have just experienced, an epidemic, a moment in history. Take things slow and look after yourself, this has been a very difficult time for the world and we have to remember this.

3-Don’t be anxious

Although I suffer with anxiety, I’ve never been socially anxious, I love going out and seeing people but I have to admit…I’m starting to get more anxious. Just going to the supermarket has created a pressure that was never there before but please remind yourself…you don’t have to anxious. In order for our lives to get back on track we have to continue normal activities, thing will be okay, don’t panic!

Lake and Mountain

4- Be hopeful

As much as we have to be mindful of the rules and accept that things will be different, we should be hopeful too. Be excited for the life you’ve been longing to have back. Plan what you’re most excited for and be hopeful for the future. We’ve had our fair share of bad days recently, there’s so many good ones waiting for you now!

5- Keep talking

Just because things will be getting back to normal soon it doesn’t mean we should lose touch, keep talking and keep supporting each other. Everything is easier when shared together!

6- Use your reflection

I’ve used this period of time to reflect a lot on what’s important in my life and what I would like to prioritise…now is the time to create the life you’ve envisaged. Implement the things in your life that make you happy and prioritise the people that you really missed in this period of isolation. Create the life you’ve always wanted because nothing is stopping you!

Person Hand Reaching Body of Water

Remember, things won’t go back to normal for a while but that’s okay. Look after yourself and those around and look forward to the bright future ahead!

Thanks for reading. Stay safe, stay happy and be YOU!

Yellow Petaled Flower In White Mug

The truth about living with anxiety disorders

It’s time to be honest!

As much as we can sugarcoat anxiety as something that happens to everyone (a normal human function)…I think we sometimes forget the severity of anxiety that some people live with.

As someone who is often drowned by its power, I’m here to tell you the truth.

Its exhausting, mentally, physically and emotionally.

I love to express my passion for creating a positive life and having a glass half full is, in my eyes, the best way to live. However, I’m sat here tonight having endured a day of obsessive thoughts, a tight chest and the feeling that I will fall apart at any moment. That’s the thing, we can change our perspective, have positive days, have happy days but when you live with this day in day out, some days it’s just all too much. That’s me today.

I guess what I’m trying to say is as much as we can control things in our life, sometimes we just have to say enough is enough…and accept that its okay to have a bad day.

Anxiety disorders come in all different types-

Panic disorder

General anxiety disorder

Depression

OCD

Eating disorders

Phobias

Each one debilitating, draining and hard to control. All I can explain it as is your mind being in complete overdrive all day. Imagine having to complete a day at work but whilst holding back a panic attack or using all your energies to deter the constant intrusive thoughts in your mind. There’s so many moments in my life I’ve been physically present but not mentally…sitting down for a meal whilst calculating each and every calorie, overanalysing every word someone says to you or holding back the panicky feeling that the world is about the fall around you.

Sometimes I wish I was different. What would life be like without worrying all the time or feeling panicky when I don’t even have anything on my mind?

BUT here’s where the glass becomes half full- (I think) From anxiety disorders become-

An understanding of others

Always wanting the best outcome

Always working hard until things are just perfect (although being a perfectionist is exhausting)

Taking others feelings into account

From all my bad days have come this amazing ability to not only know my mind and it’s weird mechanisms but to also learn to have almost complete control over my mind. It’s one of the greatest powers you can have!

From anxiety comes the ability to predict my behaviour before it happens and therefore keep control of my disorder. Control is power and it comes from experience.

Without having anxiety disorders I wouldn’t have explored my mind in all its entireties and I wouldn’t be the person I am today…I wouldn’t be writing these blogs right now and I certainly wouldn’t have the control over my mind that I now do. With control comes power and with that comes happiness.

Whatever you’re suffering with, know that the bad days pass and only make your mind stronger. Own your disorders, they make you YOU.❤️

Please remember our mind is there to be controlled and not there to control us! Take control and live the life you’ve always wanted. If not today, make it TOMORROW!

Thanks for reading guys- please know that my email is open all day everyday for anyone about anything! Stay safe, happy and have a great week🙌🏻

The journey to loving your body

Woman Wearing Red Bikini

This is a big one for me, my journey with my body is one of the journeys that has made me who I am today.

I think when it comes to image we too often look for acceptance in the way others see us, through compliments, achievements, a number on the scales or how good people think we look, but this is all wrong. True love with your body comes from within, it comes from YOU. It’s a journey we must embark on alone, stumble through on our own but discover its beauty on our own (as hard as it is at times!)

I’ve struggled with accepting my body for a long time, over analysing little things, thinking parts of me should look better or different…. so what made me finally say this is enough?

After battles with my body confidence day in day out, I started to realise that things needed to change and that the only person who really judged my body was myself. Here I’ve devised some tips on how to love your body-

1- Perspective- perspective is everything. Rather than seeing your body as a feature of your appearance, see it as a shelter, its not just an object to be adored but a machine that keeps us breathing, loving, creating and more than ever right now we are relying on our bodies to fight off diseases. We often forget how amazing our bodies are and we must be thankful for them.

2-The bigger picture– when all is said and done our bodies are not what are remembered, they grow old and beauty fades but the real things that matter stay. Love, laughter, memories, happiness and the soul that’s within. I have to tell myself that the happiest times of my life weren’t defined by the way I looked but the people I was with and the way it made me feel. You won’t be remembered by the weight on your scales but the love you showed and the life you led.

3-Own your insecurities– we all have little things we might want to change but every part of your body is what makes you unique and the right person will love those parts one day. We’re different for a reason, the body you have is quite often what someone else wants and what they have will be what another person wants too. In the competitive world we live in we’re always searching for more but forget about the beauty that’s already there. When you begin to love your insecurities they start to become your best assets.

4- Stop comparing yourself- When we scroll through Instagram or any source of social media we often forget that this is NOT REAL…it’s simply a snippet of someone’s life..quite often filtered, angled correctly, photoshopped and portrayed to be more exciting than it is. What Instagram doesn’t show is the persons mental state behind the camera, they’re comparing themselves just as much as you and find it hard to keep up in such a competitive world. The biggest step to loving yourself is to simply stop comparing!

5-Use your body– Rather than dwelling on our perfectly imperfect bodies, remember how amazing and capable they are. Go for a run, go for a walk, use your body to it’s full potential and be thankful for its abilities! This is a great way of creating a really good relationship with our bodies.

6- Speak kindly to your body– I always thought it was a bit weird speaking to your own body but trust me…it feels so good! Speaking to your body in positive and kind ways (like you might to someone else) is spoken so highly of in the body positivity world. We forget to be kind to ourselves and thank our bodies for all the amazing things it does. Tomorrow when you get up, thank your body, look yourself in the mirror and speak kind words, something like “Wow you look amazing today!”. Now one thing that sounds even crazier is hugging yourself. But trust me…we need to hug ourselves from time to time because we are our own biggest enemy at times!

So in a nutshell…Thank your body, it’s an amazing machine, embrace every part of your body, know that you are unique and beautiful, stop comparing yourself to others and most importantly speak kindly to yourself!

Despite being happy with my body now I’m going to be honest I still have days where I feel unconfident…but we all bloat, we all have scars and our bodies are different for a reason. Love who you are because there is only one of you and life is far too short to not eat that piece of cake!

Self love is the greatest love you can have, it’s a love that already exists, you just have to find it. Once it’s there it will never let you down! Are you ready to embark on the journey of finding self love or are you already there?💞

I hope you can find some help in these tips and I really hope people can start to embrace their bodies because we are all beautiful in our own little ways..the right person will love your insecurities and you should too!❤️

Have an amazing weekend guys. Stay safe, stay happy and keep loving!☀️

Keeping being you!🙌🏻❤️