What I’d like to change about the ED (eating disorder) recovery world-

First and foremost, I think the whole understanding of eating disorders in the first place is warped…but I can’t blame anyone, because how do you know if you haven’t been through it yourself. This is why i am writing, to help the medical/ social world understand what is required for recovery (IN MY OPINION).

1). It’s not the food that’s the biggest issue– There’s this myth that people with an ED hate food. Truth is we love it, and that’s the problem. Recovery is often focused on overcoming fear foods and understanding that food is good for us, but that’s not the key issue. The key issue is gaining weight…that’s where the real fear lies. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place, the way we view our bodies. So this is where the real support needs to come in. Gaining weight will be one of the most difficult parts of recovery for these individuals and therefore support should be upped at this point of recovery. Just because someone may be hitting their weight targets, it doesn’t mean they are recovered yet. This is a mental disorder, not a physical one.

Also…what about when an ED sufferer falls pregnant? Whether you are recovered or not, this is a triggering time…seeing your body change, gaining weight fast and experiencing changes in cravings. Support should be offered from GP’s the here.❤️

2). Therapy should be centred around learning to love yourself- let’s be honest…the problem isn’t with food, it’s with how the individual see’s their self. The problem lies with us, nothing else. An individual with an ED won’t judge what you eat, or how much you weigh, in fact, they probably think most people are beautiful…but they can’t see that in themselves. Why? Because they feel they have different rules to the rest of the world. No one else has to be perfect, but us lot with the ED…we do. We have to be perfect, we don’t deserve to eat like you. BUT WHY? Because it’s all to do with how we perceive ourselves. Therapy should be centre around us learning to love ourselves, and understanding that we don’t have to meet these standards…we can be imperfect too.

3). Patients should not be isolated (together)- If you’ve ever watched a prison programme or know of the life there…you’ll know that most tricks and prison like behaviour is learned from other prisoners. Most people end up worse than when they first went in.

Similar to this…If you’re an alcoholic and you surround yourself with alcoholics, you’re probably going to want to drink…and you’re probably going to be led into trouble. To me, this is similar to ED wards.

Yes you can encourage each other but this disorder can be mean, it can turn you into a liar, and turn you into an addict. You’ll end up speaking all day about food, restriction, and constantly hearing stories of how to avoid meals, how to lose weight fast, and the trauma of being surrounded by ill individuals like you, can make things a lot worse.

Home comforts are everything. It’s nice to be reminded that you are normal. Just because an individual may be suffering, it doesn’t mean they should be dehumanised….into a prisoner/ a patient. It’s important the individual is comfortable, with family, friends and with people who will only aid recovery. Don’t isolate us.

4). Teach us long term survival mechanisms– Sometimes, especially with eating disorders like anorexia, recovery is focused on the individual becoming healthy and being deemed well enough to carry on normal life….but the bigger picture is often forgot about. What we need is tools that we can use for the rest of our life. Eating disorders can be triggered at different parts in an individuals life…we need to know how to cope with change in the future, how to cope with life when we lose control, and how to deal with hurdles we haven’t learnt how to face yet. Cognitive behavioural therapy is a great way to help an individual learn how to deal with situations themselves. Unfortunately ED recovery is for life…it’s something we have to keep on top of, especially when we might be triggered in the future.

Like I say, all of this is in my opinion and in no way fact. But this topic is something I am so passionate about and I’d like my voice to be heard one day. Thanks so much for reading, and If you are struggling with an eating disorder or any type of mental stress, please don’t hesitate to ask for help. You’ve got this💪🏻

How to be confident in the gym💪🏻

Hey all. Now I’m not one for talking about physical health, as this site is all about mental well-being….but as you know both physical and mental well-being come hand in hand, and exercise is a massive part of my life.

I work out 5 times a week and it’s the one time in a day that I can really switch off from everything. I’ve always been a runner, but in the last few months I’ve really found a love for the gym, and I don’t think I’ll be turning back now.

I speak to a lot of people who know that working out would be good for their mental health, but there’s often one big hurdle preventing them from starting….confidence.

This may be due to lack of body confidence, the fact you are afraid of being judged, or the fact that you just don’t know what you’re doing. So today I’m helping you out….here’s some tips on how to be confident in the gym…so you can stop putting it off!🙌🏻

1). No one actually cares– As much as you think people do, honestly no one cares what you’re doing. Most people are just there to work out, get the job done and go home. In fact, most people have their head in the clouds at the gym, earphones in and their mind elsewhere. No one is looking at how you run or what you’re wearing…as much as you think they are.

2). Plan your sessions beforehand– I didn’t just turn up to the gym one day and work out what I was doing. I plan things. If there’s something I’m not sure on, I’ll google it beforehand or take insiration from a gym workout on YouTube. Don’t set yourself up to fail, be prepared and you’ll look like you’ve got it all together!

3). Buy some new gym kit– There’s so many nice gym sets nowadays, you don’t need to feel rubbish about yourself. Get yourself some kit that you feel good in, one that will help you to feel confident…even when you’re hot and sweaty.

4). Don’t be put off by what anyone else is doing– Just because the man next to you is lifting 40 kg dumbbells, it doesn’t mean you have to. Everyone there is doing something completely different…everyone has different bodies, goals and capabilities. Focus on your goals and your achievements, no one else matters.

5). Pretend you’re a professional– I do this all the time. Sometimes I don’t have a clue what I’m doing because someone’s using the equipment I needed…but I act like that was part of the plan anyway. Walk around with your head held high, acting like you know exactly what you’re doing…no one will ever know!

6). Stick on some feel good music- There’s nothing like a bit of Beyoncé to make you feel good…am I right? Get a banging playlist on and you’ll be strutting round the gym in no time.

7). Go with a friend- If you’re really nervous about starting the gym then take a friend with you! This is such a good way to help you build confidence, then before you know it, you’ll be confident enough to go on your own!

8). Look for a specific gym- Ladies (and any other gender) I know sometimes the stereotypes of gyms can lead us to feel nervous about going alone…well look for a specific gym. There are plenty of ladies only gyms and hopefully one day there’ll be some male only gyms too.

I hope these few tips help anyone struggling with gym confidence. Remember, don’t let anxiety stop you from achieving anything, grab every opportunity that comes your way and make the most of today!! Thanks for reading guys and happy working out💪🏻!🤍

The love your mind 7 day challenge💪🏻

Life has been crazy lately….in a good way (hence why I’ve took a little break from writing). I’ve graduated with a degree in psychology, had my 21st birthday, followed England’s crazy euros journey and been chucked into the post grad life overnight. But I’m happy and more grateful than ever. Although the past few weeks have been overwhelmingly amazing, I needed a little break from everything. I have to remember sometimes, that I’m still getting over my demons everyday, some days it’s tough and therefore sometimes I need to take a step back and take some time for me. It’s very easy to get caught up in Instagram life, unwanted drama and the pressure to say yes to people all the time…sometimes a break is just what is needed to remind us what matters.

So basically I needed A little RESET🤍

So I decided to take part in my own little challenge. It was only for 7 days, but I tried to concentrate on creating a calm and quiet environment….one which i hoped would leave my mind feeling refreshed.

So here was my 7 day challenge-

1). No social media for 7 days (unless needed for work purposes)- for me this meant no Instagram or Facebook. Honestly, this was the best part of it all for me. I thought twice about picking up my phone and I disconnected from everything. I felt so much better for it and may be continuing this for a bit longer. Sometimes we forget what life’s about when we get caught up in the social media world, it’s not good for us.❤️

2). Do something you love everyday- this might be the gym/ running/ going to the cinema or shopping. Just make sure it’s something which will bring you happiness! This was quite easy for me, but it made me think twice about how I was treating myself…and whether I was being kind enough to myself that day. It also made me realise that the smallest things are what make me happy…on one of the days my happiness was simply eating Ben and Jerry’s in my pyjamas whilst watching Benidorm😂(but for that small period of time I was so happy and content).

3). Drink 1-2 litres of water a day– that’s about 4-8 glasses- this is quite easy for me as I drink a lot of water anyway…however it definetely made me think more when choosing what to drink next. Sometimes a glass of water over a coffee can be so much better for us!

4). Read at least 10 mins of a book everyday- now this doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s not about how long you read for, it’s about getting back into a routine. I love reading as it’s such an escapism, but honestly…I never prioritise it…it’s always a video on my phone over a page of my book. But I want this to change now!

Plus if it’s a really good book, you’ll be reading a lot longer than 10 minutes without even realising!

5). Face ONE big fear within the 7 days- this may be eating a fear food, holding a spider or going to the place that you last had a panic attack. The best way to conquer a fear is to face it head on. For me, mine was a food fear. I ate out and ate lots of treats…but I didn’t stop myself from eating again later on. It’s so nice to eat out again without the worry of how many calories are in the dish!🥂

6). Buy yourself a gift once within the 7 days- because self love is so important and we often forget to reward ourselves. I bought an England shirt and still don’t regret it!🥰

So who’s with me on this challenge? If you want to feel refreshed and reset your mind, please try out this challenge too and let me know how it goes for you…it worked wonders for me, but I’m going to carry some of this on a little longer as I feel it’s needed for my headspace this week.🤍 Remember to do something for you this week, have a great week all!🙌🏻🤍

How to have an anxiety free summer!

Hey guys, hope you’re all doing okay and enjoying this beautiful weather…before I start, just a little update on me. I’m feeling amazing right now, and I’m feeling happier than I’ve been in a while. But I just wanted to address that, I didn’t have a day where I suddenly felt good again, it wasn’t a therapist that fixed me….it was simply growth, time and me learning about myself. I just want you to know that whatever you’re going through, there isn’t going to be a defining moment where everything is good again….it’s a process and things take time…one day the good days will start to become more and slowly things will feel okay again🤍….ANYWAY….

Today’s blog is all about how to have a good summer without the anxieties that may come with it. What anxieties I here you say? Summer is the best!!!! Well not for some of us.💛

With summer comes, skimpier clothes and naked bodies, something which is massively triggering for anyone with an eating disorder/ body dismorphia.👙

With summer comes, holidays, gatherings and festivals, something hard for those with social anxiety/ depression.

With summer comes schools holidays and the pressure for mums to “keep the kids busy” and “make their summer exciting”, something mums with anxiety will struggle with.

With summer comes, beer gardens, parties, BBQ’s, something which recovering alcoholics will struggle with.

So now you see how summer can be hard for some people…so how can we deal with this?💛

1). Remember there’s no such thing as a “bikini body”- I just hate that society has created this idea that we have to look a certain way for summer. It’s absolute rubbish and ruins the confidence of so many women at summer time. But honestly, when it comes down to it, no one even cares. I’ve never been on a holiday and been judged for the way I look…honestly everyone cares too much about themselves. We create this story in our minds that everyone is staring at us and judging…but honestly all anyone cares about is what sun lounger they can grab. The thing with holidays, is they are such a special and happy part of life…and for me, the best memories I have. Imagine if that was ruined by me staying in a dress all day because I thought I was too “big” to wear a bikini. Girllll, slap that bikini on, be confident and do nothing but have fun! Life is too short my darling!🤍and just a side note….your body needs periods of relaxation and indulgence!

2). Remember that you don’t have to change your lifestyle just because it’s summer- if you’re not the party animal type and you tend to stay in a lot….you don’t have to change that. Just because everyone else is out, it doesn’t mean you have to be, and it absolutely doesn’t make you boring. Socialising can be hard for some people and let’s be honest, we all need a night in from time to time anyway. Never feel pressure to say no to an invite, and don’t think you have to have planned an almighty summer. It’s just a little warmer, not a new life…we’re all different and you have to do what makes YOU happy, always.

3). Ignore all the summer stereotypes– Can we please step away from the constant “hot girl summer” term. No you don’t have to “glow up” for summer, you don’t HAVE to be single, and you don’t have to be posting hot Instagram selfies everyday. Just be you girl! Do what makes you happy and step away from the pressures of society, because no one will ever live a happy life amounting to societies values.🙌🏻

4). Remember that you don’t have to “let go”- Going on holiday can often mean indulgence, freedom and time away from everything. But use this time wisely. You don’t have to “let go” and undo all your good work….if you’re in recovery from something, keep that going because it’s going to be so worth it. Keep a healthy, happy lifestyle and remember that your well-being comes first.

5). Find other ways to relax– For anyone who suffers with intrusive thoughts/ rumination, the time of year where days off/ holidays often involve lying in the sun and doing absolutely nothing….can be our worst nightmare. Time to think is not what we need! But….get your head stuck in a book, or watch an episode of your favourite show on your phone….keep your mind distracted, because a distracted mind can be a relaxed one too! Don’t let them ugly thoughts creep through.🤍

6). Use the summer to your advantage- Although summer can be hard for some of us in a number of ways….let’s remember the good parts of summer…like the sun! Vitamin D is an amazing mood booster so soak up all the sun you can. The good weather also means there’s more freedom, more things to do out and about. Do something you’ve always wanted, be adventurous this summer…because we all know stepping out of our comfort zones if the biggest cure for anxiety!💛

7). Buy a new summer outfit- whether you feel confident in yourself or not…treat yourself to a killer outfit. One that will make you feel good, confident and one that reminds you that you are perfect just the way you are!

8). Make a summer playlist– we’re all prone to a few sad breakup songs on our playlist, but get them off! It’s summer time. Make a playlist that is good vibes only! One that will instantly boost your mood. Get it on loud, open the windows in your car, and sing your heart out with not a care in the world!

The list could go on, but here’s just a little guide for you guys. Thanks so much for reading..and I hope you all have an amazing summer! But remember it’s just an increase in temperature, you don’t have to change your whole life.🥰

Also, I will be drawing my giveaway next week so please enter for a chance to win! See the love your mind Facebook page.🙌🏻

Love to you all, Lou x

Skinny to strong- how weight training can help with eating disorders

This blog means so much to me, because it’s all about my journey to strength…mentally and physically. ❤️

First of all…there’s a lot of bad press when it comes to the gym and any type of eating disorders/ body dismorphia….it seems the world thinks the gym/exercise is bad for those recovering, but I’m here to tell you, I think that’s rubbish.

Yes, monitor obsessions with training and ensure that over training is not a thing, but I actually think it’s helps the situation rather than making it worse, and here’s why-

1). Weight training makes you strong, not skinny– A lot of cardio and exercise is used when people want to lose weight, it helps to burn fat and burns lots of calories, but weight training is different. As much as weight training burns loads of calories, it also (with the right nutrition) builds muscle and increases the bodies mass, something important when recovering from an eating disorder. We want the individual to gain weight, but in a healthy way, and one that allows strength to increase too!

2). More food needs to be taken on board- To say I sometimes struggle with the concept of having to up my calories, I actually want to when I’m training. There’s nothing worse than working hard in the gym all month to then see no progression because you haven’t eaten enough….it’s like all your hard work goes to waste. In fact, I recently saw on the news that eating disorders have increased since gyms had shut during lockdown…because what’s the point in eating when you’re doing nothing (that’s how we see it).

3). It relieves mental stress- Lifting a heavy weight and putting your body through the pain can be extremely relieving mentally. I often go to the gym feeling like my brain is going to explode and left feeling on top of the world. The chemicals released in your brain are good ones, and it’s a lot easier to push the body to its limits than the mind, it’s a nice change.

4). It’s a great distraction- Whilst at the gym/ weight training…there is nothing else you even think about for that time, apart from the activity you’re carrying out. It’s such a good distraction from all the anxieties going on inside the mind.

5). Changes to the body are positive– Like I said, weight training increases muscle, not the opposite. Whilst other exercise can lead to even more weight loss, weight training can change the body physically, in a good way. As shown in the pictures previous, my body has changed positively, despite gaining weight, I am more defined and a lot lot stronger!

6). It’s a great way to set goals– On hard days, it’s important that there is something to look forward to…a goal to aim for, and weight training is perfect for this. What are your weight goals for this weeks sessions, or how many reps can you do today? Small goals lead to small successes, and with that comes positivity and hope. Plus, going home with a personal best always sets you up for a good day!🥰

7). It increases confidence– Confidence is something that individuals with eating disorders often struggle with, whether that’s body confidence or just confidence in general…but honestly, having a hobby/ goal can really boost confidence levels. Just knowing you are capable/ growing is everything!

8). It helps you to change your relationship with your body to a positive one- When I see the levels I can push my body to and the amazing changes I see in it daily….I just think wow, I am in awe. To spend your whole life hating your body/ food, it’s important that this relationship is changed, and this can really help you change perspective. Be in awe of your body and what it does for you….it really is an amazing machine!💪🏻

Also, I just want to say, each body is different. Each body needs different food, different calories and every body is different. Some people are naturally skinny, whilst others are more curvy…but what I’ve learnt over the years is that we all want what we haven’t got. If you’re skinny, you want to be have curves and if you’re curvier, you probably wish you were skinnier sometimes. But what we can take away from that is….there’s no such thing as a perfect body. Whatever body you have right now, is someone else’s dream. Let’s step away from the way you look physically and remember how incredible and clever your body is. I feel grateful everyday that I have the freedom to exercise, because some people don’t have that option.

In a world that makes you doubt your self worth, loving yourself is a rebellious act! Love who you are, because who gives a damn what anyone else thinks. Do you FOR YOU.❤️

Thanks so much for reading guys, much love, Lou x

Periods and mental health

Hey guys! I’ve been taking a little break from blogging recently….I don’t know if you know what I mean, but sometimes writing about mental health all the time makes me think about it too much! So a little break has been amazing for me, and I feel great! But I’m back today with a blog all about PERIODS, I’ve been meaning to do this one for a while. Hope you enjoy!❤️

We all know what periods are, and for us females, we’ve all experienced them! Periods are bad enough on their own, but the effect it can have on us mentally can be even worse. Feeling this way can often leave us feeling confused and wondering what’s wrong with us, but I just want to assure you that, it’s probably just your period🥰here’s how it can affect us mentally-

1). Our emotions are all over- Periods affect our hormone levels, the same hormones that can affect our mood. If you suddenly feel like crying or feel low for no reason, don’t look into it. It’s completely normal at this time of month. Your chemicals are all changing in the brain right now, so don’t worry, just allow yourself to feel all the emotions!🙌🏻

2). Our body confidence can change– Whilst on a period it’s completely normal that you will put a little weight on, but this isn’t going to stay. When I used to struggle with eating/ my body, I always felt worse on my period. But whatever you do…DON’T RESTRICT. You haven’t been eating too much and you haven’t just randomly gained weight, it’s your bodies way of working through this period of time. Be confident, you still look amazing and this added weight will not stay!

3). You may have low energy- If you feel like doing absolutely nothing…that’s okay, don’t beat yourself up about it. Periods can take a lot of energy from us, the bodies going through a lot, so take extra care of yourself. Remember, it’s okay to take a step back and look after yourself…we don’t have to be productive all of the time.

4). Things can feel a little too much- Just because you may feel like your brains on overload and you’re back at square one today, don’t panic! It’s probably just your period…again. Just give yourself extra time, extra care and remember it’s nothing to worry about!❤️

5). You may feel more insecure/ self conscious– Feeling bloated and the panic that you need to go to the loo to change can often leave us feeling more socially anxious than normal. I’m usually confident, but my period can leave me leaving self conscious and on edge all day. This is totally normal, but don’t let it get to you. In fact no one can even tell you’re a little bloated, be more confident than ever before and remember how amazing your body is!

My point is…if you’ve been feeling good recently or you’re in recovery…don’t think any of these things are a step back or a relapse…it’s probably just your period and you’ll feel back to normal in a few days times. I just wanted to address the psychological symptoms of periods, rather than the ever known physical ones because they’re not spoken about enough. As hard as it is…don’t overthink your thoughts and emotions for the time being, your brain is busy controlling hormones!❤️

Hope this helps guys! Thanks for reading and lots of love, Lou x

Recovery💛

Hey guys, I just wanted to talk about something really important today…recovery.

The recovery process is the hardest part of having a mental disorder, letting go of those comforts, getting extremely uncomfortable and being forced into the things you’ve feared for so long. That’s the thing about mental illness, it makes you believe you need it, it becomes a comfort. But we have to let go.🤍

I want you to remember that although this is the hardest part, each day is a step closer to full recovery. One day you will be free again, you will be happy. But I also want you to remember that recovery is NOT linear. There will be ups, downs and there may be relapse, but that’s okay. It’s all part of the beautiful journey to recovery🍃

So here’s what to remember when on your recovery journey (whatever that may be)…

1). Surround yourself with good people- You’re going to need extra support when starting your recovery journey. There’s going to be tears and a lot of hugs will be needed. Make sure you surround yourself with friends and family who understand and who care. You need some loving right now and you’ll definitely need a shoulder to cry on!

2). Take it each day at a time– When we start therapy/ medication/ a new treatment plan we often want to get on with it because recovery looks beautiful, but that’s not how it works. Like I say, this is the tough bit and you can’t rush the process. Recovery is not an overnight thing and it’s something that needs to be done with great care and attention. Take each day as it comes and don’t look back on yesterday or the mountain that’s ahead✨

3). Take extra care of yourself- I can’t stress this enough, please be kind to yourself. Recovery can be mentally, physically and emotionally draining so cut yourself some slack! Sometimes we have to give ourselves a little more love than usual! Run a bubble bath, put on your favourite show and switch off your phone🥰

4). Shy away from social media for a bit- this is very important, especially when recovering from something like an ED. It’s time to concentrate on you, and looking at others successes/ recovery stories can sometimes create a step back. This is your journey and no one else’s, right now you are all that matters and comparing yourself to someone else will only make things worse.

5). Find something/ somewhere to escape to- When things get too much or you want to forget about life for a moment, it’s important that we have our very own place of serenity…whether that’s a walk you like, a playlist you listen to, a meditation you carry out or the gym (that’s my personal place of escape). When I go to the gym I focus on me, my mind, my body and for an hour I forget about absolutely everything💪🏻

6). Remember how amazingly strong you are– Whatever you are going through, please know you are a warrior. Life is full of ups and downs, and let me tell you, the downs don’t last forever. I believe in you and I can’t wait to see you shine again!🧡

7). Try to be optimistic– It can be hard to do this sometimes, but remember, set backs don’t mean failure, they are just part of the journey. It’s going to be okay, I promise you. Keep going, you’ve got this!

Thanks so much for reading guys. I’ve had a tough week this week, mentally, but I have to remember to keep going. There will be good weeks and bad weeks but each week is a chance to learn and grow.🍃 I have set backs all the time but I never fail to remember how far I’ve come.🤍

Also please remember to enter my giveaway over on the love your mind Facebook page!💙 Happy Sunday all.

Mental health week🙌🏻

It’s mental health week this week, a week which helps to raise awareness and normalize mental disorders. Now, there are a million things I could talk about this week and I have thought of so many ideas, but I thought I would keep it simple this year. So I’m going to share with you some of the best advice I’ve been given over the years❤️-

1). “Our thoughts and emotions are not fact”- For someone who has battled severe intrusive thoughts, this one sentence has set me free so many times. No one ever teaches us this at school, but it’s true, our brain computes random thoughts and emotions all the time, but it doesn’t have anything to do with us. Just because our brains sometimes like to hit us with some weird/ extreme thoughts, it doesn’t mean we have to attach a meaning to them. As humans we need to learn to control our thoughts and understand what’s rational and what’s not. This can count for emotions too. I’ve had days before where I feel really low but there’s no reason for it. Rather than looking into why I feel like that, I should just accept it and let it go, because there isn’t always a reason. Remember, thoughts are not facts!

2). “We all have bad days”- Knowing that I am not alone is one thing that has brought me massive comfort over the years. As humans, it’s so normal to have bad days. I think sometimes we feel like the only person going through something when really, the person standing next to you is probably going through something similar or something even worse. I’ve had so many days where I feel so confused as to why I’m sad and why everyone else is okay, but the truth is you’re not alone. Know that it’s okay to have bad days, we all do.

3). “Everything will be okay”– Cliche and simple, but true. Like we believe this at times though, am I right? Sometimes it feels like our battles are never ending, we’ll never be free and we’ll never be happy…but I promise one day, you will be. The reason people give you this advice is not to comfort you or lie to you, but because they’ve been there before. We all have scars, things we never thought we would survive, yet here we are to tell the story. If you are heartbroken, I promise you will love again, if you are mourning a loved one, I promise you will find some peace eventually, and if you are in a dark place mentally, I assure you the light is coming, and you will be happy again soon!🥰 No storm lasts forever.

4). “Don’t lose yourself by picking others up”- My dad taught me a lesson a long time ago, and I wish I had remembered to stick by it. His analogy is…we all have a bowl of sweets in life and we end up sharing those sweets over time. We might give a sweet to someone and that’s a nice thing to do…however, if you continue to give out all your sweets and fail to receive any back, you are left with an empty bowl. Have you ever been left with an empty bowl? Me too. Whether that’s in a friendship or a romantic relationship, that relationship takes two efforts, not just one.

Be kind to others, look after others, but make sure they are kind to you too, and most importantly, make sure you are kind to yourself.💚

5). “This will only make you stronger”- Again, we don’t want to hear it at the time…but it’s true. Each battle we face, we create a new piece of armour, one that will protect us and stay with us for the rest of our lives. My battles have only made me stronger and yours will do the same for you. Those who are the most content, confident people, are the ones who have fought in the bigger battles.💪🏻

6). “You only have yourself at the end of the day”- I used to think this was such a negative comment and way of looking at life, but if you live by this, you can’t go much wrong. Most people have experienced abandonment in their lives, whether that’s from parents, friends or someone you loved….it’s the worst feeling in the world. But there’s something so beautiful about being left alone. This strength and power you find within yourself….that power can never be taken away from you. The more comfortable we become with being happy on our own, the less pain we will feel. Learn to love who you are, and learn to love being in your own company because there’s something so powerful about being happy alone. The one person that will always have your back is yourself…you’ll never be let down. Surround yourself with those you love and talk to others, but remember that you always have yourself🤍

7). “The answers are within you”- Sometimes we look to the ends of the earth for a solution. How to be happy, how to overcome mental illness, how to feel confident, but the answers are not in a therapy room or a beach in Bali…..they are within you. What if I told you, you have the power to overcome anything, and you have the answers to your own happiness….well it’s true. Look inside your heart, trust your mind and remember that you are a warrior❤️

8). “Don’t be like them, be like YOU”- I used to be so unconfident as a young girl, I didn’t see beauty, talent or anything within myself, but over the years that has changed. I used to compare myself to everyone and wonder why I didn’t look like other girls, but the same advice kept cropping up….and one day I finally believed it. I don’t want to be like anyone else….I want to be me. The things that make you unique, end up being the things people love about you. No one wants a copy, they want you, an original. Trying to be someone else will never make you happy. You are on this earth for a reason and you being you, is what makes you beautiful.✨

Thanks so much for reading guys, and remember to look after yourself and give yourself some credit (this week more than ever). Much love, Lou x

How to cope with our new lives…again

I love communicating with people around me and I love to talk to my readers about what they enjoy reading….and one thing that keeps popping up in conversations recently is people’s fears of leaving lockdown again….so in today’s blog I ask….how do we cope with our worlds changing all over again?

1). Take a step back– As excited as we all are to get back out there, we have to remember that this change is quite dramatic. We have gone from a million miles an hour lives to 0, so we can’t get back to it all straight away. As much as you don’t think it, getting back to life will be a hard adjustment for some of us and it’s something we should remember to take one step at a time. Get back to the gym and see a couple of friends this week, but don’t see them all at once. There is no rush to get back to our old lives so give yourself a break and take it one step at a time.

2). Say no- This leads on nicely from my previous point…remember you can still say no. Just because you haven’t seen anyone for a year it doesn’t mean you have to go out drinking 7 days a week now. We are still entitled to self care nights, a night in and a day off to be at home….people will understand. Look after yourself first and take each day as it comes.

3). Be open about how you feel- If you’re suffering from a new found social anxiety, don’t be afraid of it, most of us are feeling the exact same. Be open about how you feel because the chances are, your friends feel the same too. A problem shared is always a problem halved, don’t hide away!

4). Remember that your confidence will come back naturally– A lot of people are suffering low confidence levels right now, no matter how confident they were before. This is completely normal! But don’t worry too much, as soon as you’re back with those you love, socialising and finding your feet again, your spark and confidence will spring back. Let’s just take each day as it comes for now!❤️

5). Think about how far you’ve come- I don’t know about you, but I’ve dealt with some huge demons in lockdown and I’ve learnt a lot about myself. I can’t believe how much I’ve grown as a person. Whether lockdown has been good or bad for you, we’ve all survived and that’s a massive deal. This may have been the hardest time in our lives….so look at how far you’ve come and look forward to the future ahead!🥰

6). Be extra kind to yourself– We’ve been through a LOT this past year or so, so be kind to yourself! When life gets busy we can often put others before ourselves, but don’t let that happen this time. Remember to look after YOU first, that’s so important. Love yourself a little extra and remember, NO YOU DIDNT HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT IN LOCKDOWN, and YOU CERTAINLY DONT HAVE TO HAVE CHANGED THE WORLD. So what if you spent the last 8 months in your Pyjamas and put on weight? Most of us did. Don’t beat yourself up, you are perfect just the way you are❤️

7). Don’t overthink- As hard as it is to say that, try not to. Life is so short and as this past many months have shown us…tomorrow is not guaranteed, so laugh, love and remember who you are! Grab happiness as much as you can🙌🏻

8). Accept that it will feel weird- Maybe your relationship started in lockdown and all you’ve known is a lockdown relationship….it’s hard and it’s very different but don’t be afraid by change. The right partner will support you in this change and you will adapt to your new life/ relationship dynamic again. OR maybe your baby has only known lockdown…don’t worry, you will both adapt to it, day by day….it will all be okay again soon, I promise🥰

Thanks so much for reading guys. In the next few weeks I have some big blogs coming up so please look out for those. I will also be uploading more frequently and cannot wait to get creative! Sending blessings to you all. Happy bank holiday!❤️

Dealing with student stress

Whether you have studied GSCE’s, A levels, a degree or an apprenticeship, you will have experienced stress at some point. With it being my final 2 weeks in the education system, I thought I would share the tips I have learned over the years on how to deal with stress as a student!👩🏽‍🎓

1). Start your work early- Whether it’s revision or an assignment, get ahead of the game, even if it’s just a plan. By getting ahead you leave plenty of time for mistakes and meltdowns to happen. This also leaves you the opportunity to work “little and often”. This always works for me, by doing a little bit each day, you have time to relax inbetween, whilst knowing you have plenty of time. Cramming in last minute work, never works out!

2). Make sure you have a good support network around you- Studying for exams or writing a dissertation can be very draining and this can make us feel rubbish! So make sure you have good support around you, someone to give you a hug, offer advice and make you the odd cup of tea!

3). Have back ups- Technology and memory sticks are what have caused the majority of my stress over the years. Whether you think you’re safe or not, things can always fail! So always email your work to yourself when you’ve updated it, that way you ALWAYS have a backup.

4). Remember it’s not the end of the world- Over the years I’ve learned that as much as you don’t think it, things will always work out in the end. In fact, whatever you are stressing over now will probably have no significance in 5 years. Since finishing my A levels 3 years ago, no one have ever asked to see my grades, and I thought they would define me!! If you have a dream, there will always be a way to reach it, whether you have grade A’s or not. Don’t let it make you ill.❤️

5). Take a break!- At the time you think a break will be the end of the world and that one break will be detrimental, but it won’t! Breaks do you a lot of good actually, they help you to come back with a fresh mindset and your work will always turn out better!

6). Remember why you started– There’s a reason we work hard in education, and that’s to reach our goals, to get a good job and to be happy. Don’t let the stress of things make you forget why you’re here. Remember it will all be worth it in the end, this stress is only temporary!

7). Make sure there’s a reward at the end of it all- It’s important that you look after yourself and when you’ve worked so hard on something it’s important that you reward yourself! Plus this keeps you motivated throughout your work. Buy a new pair of trainers, book a weekend away or just book a big night out! Make sure to celebrate!🥂

8). Keep your workspace tidy- Tidy desk, tidy mind…it’s so true!

9). Take advantage of the support you are being offered- Whether it’s a teacher or a lecturer, they are paid to teach you, so ask them all the questions in the world! Go to free sessions and ask for support if you need it!🥰

10). What’s the worst that can happen?– it really isn’t life or death, there is always a way round things. If you fail, you can resist and it you need an extension just ask for one! Where there’s a will there’s a way people.

I hope these tips help anyone who is struggling with student stress right now. I promise you it will all be worth it in the end. You’ve got this and I believe in you! If you can dream it you can achieve it! Now go make a cuppa💙